Frodo and the Urukhai
by Pheriandil
Summary: Post-Quest/AU - What happens when two entirely different worlds of thoughts and emotions collide? Is it possible for an Uruk-hai to overcome his dark side to help a hobbit? This story deals with exactly this kind of possibility.
1. Part 1

Special thanks to Eowyn and Sharka, who were a really great help for me to get the English version of this story done.

**Frodo and the Uruk-hai**

**Note of Thanks**

_Thanks to J.R.R. Tolkien, who introduced a world to me which is so infinitely rich in treasures that it fills my heart with bliss and makes my soul dizzy._

_Thanks to Peter Jackson, whose devoted work on the movie "The Lord of the Rings" made it possible for me to perceive each single character with all my heart and senses during the creation of the story._

_Thanks to Dania Dicken (Eowyn), whom I met on my journeys through Middle-earth and whose own stories inspired me, which even appeared in my dreams to get woven into new tales. I also thank her for the motivating and cheerful feedback that accompanied each single scene during the writing. _

_Thanks to Yvette Ulmer, who watched my first efforts of writing with never lessening enthusiasm, and who almost beat me to make me believe in my own talent when I was too stubborn. _

_Thanks to Luisa Francia, who helped me in many ways to take a leap, no matter what others may think about it._

_Thanks to Frodo Baggins, who resolutely took my hand to lead me through this narration with gentle determination and granted me so many valuable views of his soul._

**Introduction**

This story was inspired by Eowyn and is based on her own story "The Abduction in the Shire," a wonderfully created sequel to Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings".

In this story Frodo, halfway on his way the West, suddenly decides to return to Middle-earth, for he is too homesick to go any farther across the sea. So the way back is still open and he is allowed to return home. Gandalf, who still feels responsible for Frodo, has decided to join him, and this is how they arrive in the Shire one evening to embrace an astonished, but overjoyed Sam.

But happiness won't last, for Frodo is excruciated by horrible visions, and some days after Gandalf left Hobbiton, some orcs break into Bag End to abduct Frodo and Sam, but for the time being their destination and purpose remain unknown.

Soon their friends are on the tracks of the abductors, but they don't manage to rescue the hobbits. Instead they learn the riddle's solution: it becomes clear that the terrible huge spider Shelob is the one behind this mean deed, for she has hired some orcs that were left after Sauron's defeat. Their leader is the cruel Uruk-hai Shagrat, who once was commander of the orcs in Cirith Ungol. After the turmoils of the War of the Ring, Shelob has now moved to Mirkwood and wants to take revenge on the two hobbits who had escaped her in Mordor.

On their way Sam defends himself against the rude treatment of the orcs and in return he gets mistreated so badly that he soon gets seriously ill. Frodo cares for him with devotion, and Shagrat notices his behaviour in wonder. The Uruk-hai, who does not understand something like friendship at all, cannot help to watch with interest how Frodo manages to overcome his own agony and hopelessness in view of a horrible fate, just to give comfort and strength to his friend. But Sam gets weaker...

And this is where my own story begins...

Sam and Frodo were dragged farther by the orcs unyieldingly, nearer to Mirkwood, where the horrible huge spider was on lair for her victims. Although Frodo supported his friend bravely, Sam could not walk alone anymore very soon and sank exhausted to the ground more an more often. Frodo was desperate. "Don't give up, Sam, come on, don't do that to me." But Sam only murmured hopelessly: "Why should I go farther, Master Frodo. Only to be killed by Shelob?" But Frodo didn't give up. "Please, Sam, just try it before they get angry and beat you again." Finally his attempt to help Sam to his feet worked out, but he knew that Sam wouldn't stand this torture very long anymore.

Shagrat grumbled unwillingly about the slow pace of the wearily stumbling hobbits. "Pull yourselves together, you weak rats, or I'll take care for a sudden end and throw you dead into Shelob's webs. Nothing more than bad luck for her if you'd croaked on the way, got that?" Frodo tried to calm him down: "It's alright, Sam just needs a short rest, and in case there is no other way, I shall carry him." But Shagrat only laughed cruelly. "No way, maggot, or we'll never reach Mirkwood. Come on now!"

Sam was very feverish again and it didn't take very long until he broke down moaning, but when Frodo desperately bent down to get him up again, he was ungently dragged away by Shagrat. "That's enough, you blockheaded halflings, I'm fed up with your games!" Frodo blinked in dismay. The Uruk growled aggressively for a moment and then looked at Frodo with a cruel expression. "But who cares if we leave this one here behind and only take you with us. I'll explain that to Shelob, and half a prey is better than nothing. This miserable maggot will croak sooner or later anyway, and to make sure of it, I'll take care for that myself now."

He drew his dagger and slowly walked towards Sam, but Frodo desperately planted himself up in Shagrat's way,. "Please, you mustn't do that..." But the Uruk brutally pushed him to the ground and resolutely grabbed Sam who barely defended himself because of his weakness. "No!" Frodo screamed in terror and grabbed the giant's leg in panic. He meant to go insane because of fear for Sam's life and could only beg sobbingly: "Shagrat, please, don't do that, don't kill him, please..." For a moment the Uruk was taken aback by Frodo's behaviour, but then he pushed him away with a snarl and shouted at him in a threatening tone: "What game are you playing here? Tell me at once why you're behaving this strange instead of being glad about me intending to kill him and not you." Frodo swallowed and only could simply explain: "Because he is my friend."  
Obviously Shagrat was flung into a rage by this answer, for he dragged Frodo up, right to his furiously distorted face and roared: "That's nonsense, don't take me for a ride, you disgusting little rat!" Then he let the hobbit roughly drop to the ground where he remained lying, sobbing and trembling. 

The other orcs were giggling until Shagrat snapped at them: "Shut up, you maggots, or I'll feed you to Shelob, too!" He turned about and irresolutely growled for a moment. Then suddenly he turned back to Frodo to announce: "This sick halfling is a burden, we'll leave him behind and take only you with us. We won't kill him 'cause he'll doubtlessly be dead within a few hours anyway." Frodo was absolutely shattered, though he felt a flicker of hope that Sam might have a chance this way. Pretending to say goodbye to his friend, Frodo secretly managed to put some soothing athelas under Sam's shirt before the orcs dragged him away.

The toilsome journey went on, and to suppress his mortal agony, Frodo desperately clasped to the thought of the others hopefully being close enough to find Sam in time. Only this bright vision gave strength to him and kept him calm. Shagrat could not figure this puzzling halfling out, and every thought he wasted on him angered him. Finally he lost his patience and growled: "Why are you so quiet, tiny thing? Are you not scared at all?" Frodo answered calmly: "Indeed, I'm scared to death, for I have horrible memories of Shelob. There is only one comforting thought: Sam could escape from her. If Shelob is to be my doom, then I will endure it, no matter how much I fear it." Shagrat just growled reluctantly about this nonsense. "I don't know what you're up to, half-pint, and I'm enormously annoyed at this. Don't go too far! To tell you the truth, if you were not to be delivered to Shelob, I would prefer to devour you myself! Did you get that?" Frodo fearfully nodded and went silent. 

When the hobbit could finally take a short rest, he wearily sank down to the ground and soon fell asleep. Meanwhile the orcs had a bloody meal and devoured everything they had found on their way, and so Frodo was lucky not to watch their horrible feasting. Soon Shagrat wanted to urge Frodo up again, but hesitated confusedly, when he saw Frodo smile in his sleep. When he finally kicked the hobbit roughly, he winced and the smile disappeared. "Now come on, little rat." Frodo scrambled to his feet and started to tremble, for his courage seemed to be leaving him at last and agony had returned to claim him. But he was pushed forward again.

After another day Shagrat finally had enough of the hobbit's slow pace. "I'm just fed up, lame snail! You don't really want Shelob to starve in the meantime, do you?" He roared with laughter about his own joke and grabbed the hobbit to place him on his shoulder like a killed beast. Frodo didn't struggle, for he would not have a chance to defend himself against the power of the orcs. While Shagrat carried him, Frodo gave in to a paralyzing helplessness which at least helped him to ignore his agony and despair.

That way the next days passed by, while Frodo seemed to accept his fate more and more. There was no sign of his friends around. Possibly they had been held up somewhere, maybe they had found Sam and were too slow... But actually Frodo didn't believe in that anymore, he had given in to hopelessness too much. At least the orcs did not pick on him anymore. Indeed they had stopped to push him around whenever they desired to do so. But the hobbit did not know the reason why, since he knew that it was part of their nature to gloat over their victims' fear. Had Shagrat forbidden it? But Frodo let go of this thought at once again, for it seemed pretty absurd to him.

Finally the orcs reached the depths of Mirkwood and now hurried on without any further break to reach Shelob's cave. Shagrat let his captive down in front of the cave entrance to better bind him before delivering him to Her. But Frodo just needed to become aware of the black opening in the rock to lose all his composure, as he was overrun by the horrible recollections of his first encounter with the monster. Panic-stricken, he tried to run away, but it was just useless, for Shagrat had a strong grip on him. But the hobbit started to scream on top of his voice instead, and he kicked around him with all his might. Of course he wasn't able to free himself from the huge creature who had grabbed his arms now, but his outburst was enough to baffle Shagrat for a moment. The Uruk seemed to ponder how to deal with this frantic creature.

Frodo still screamed and struggled to escape the Uruk's grip, but Shagrat dragged Frodo behind a dense thicket, to get them away from the eyes of the maliciously giggling orcs. He shook him to make him come round and roared: "Will you shut up now, you cursed rat!" But at the same time he slipped a small bottle with a black fluid into the hobbit's hand. Suddenly Frodo fell silent and gazed at him in dismay. Shagrat quietly snarled: "This might help you. It will be over faster and you don't need to suffer as long as she'd probably like it. This is everything I can do for you. So if you ask me, you better drink it!" In his confusion, Frodo swallowed a good amount and had to cough immediately. But at the same time he was falling into a state of apathy, and suddenly nothing mattered anymore.

Shagrat dragged the hobbit, who did not defend himself anymore, deep into Shelob's cave. He followed many winding tunnels until he reached a huge hall-like room, lighted by a ray of sunlight, which was fighting its way through a tiny opening in the ceiling. Frodo perceived some blurred shapes. Shagrat laid him down on the cold ground in the middle of the cave, and meanwhile the hobbit had reached so deep an apathy that he didn't care about anything and did not stir anymore. He saw Shagrat bowing low and heard him call: "I have fulfilled your order. The other one died, but this one should be alright. It is the one who escaped you once. You already had him in your claws back then."

A horrible rustling and cracking was the answer and the huge spider-like monster came creeping out of a nearby tunnel. There she was, Shelob, ruler of the darkness in this cave, so huge and terrifying that even Shagrat felt a shiver running down his spine. One of her eight hairy legs she couldn't move properly anymore, obviously because of Sam's attack in Cirith Ungol long ago. She hissed sharply in obvious rage about the other prey having slipped from her claws forever. But there was still this one left whom she had already woven in sticky threads in the past, and who had been able to escape nevertheless. She crept towards Frodo and stood right above him, for she wanted to have a closer look at her defenceless prey. 

Frightened by her hiss, Frodo came out of his daze and tried to crawl away in panic. But Shelob put one of her claws on his chest and pressed him to the ground without an effort. Slowly she drove her poisonous sting closer to Frodo's neck. Although the gesture was futile, Frodo raised his right arm to protect himself from the sting. With another claw Shelob tore his arm open. The pain was not as bad as he had expected it to be, because the orcish fluid obviously had an immense effect on his senses. But he could not shape any clear thought, so finally he gave in to his exhaustion and helplessly closed his eyes in expectation of a hopefully painless end. But at this moment he heard Shagrat's roaring scream, followed by Shelob's threatening hiss. Frodo felt himself being dragged up and then nothing more. He had lost consciousness…

*********** 

When he woke up again, deepest night was around him. He found himself lying under a tree, wrapped in some rags. The hobbit suffered from a terrible headache, obviously caused by the orcish fluid. Suddenly someone grabbed his arm in the dark, and he recognized the huge Uruk beside him. Frodo screamed in fear, but Shagrat immediately put his paw over the hobbit's mouth, and his eyes were glittering dangerously…

"Don't even dare to give a sound, maggot, or it will be the last time!" Frodo nodded quickly and the Uruk let go of him with a growl to have a closer look at his arm. Frodo watched in confusion how Shagrat soaked a dirty cloth with a black fluid and then placed it on the wound that Shelob had caused. The burning pain startled Frodo, but he tried to keep still. But when the Uruk awkwardly bandaged the arm with some rags, Frodo couldn't bear the silence any longer.

"What happened, where is Shelob, where am I?" "Shut up!" Shagrat hissed without looking at Frodo and continued with his activity. Then Frodo noticed that Shagrat himself was wounded. His left shoulder was full of encrusted blood. But he did not seem to feel any pain.

The hobbit was more confused than ever and could not take his eyes off Shagrat. The Uruk noticed the questioning gaze and stared at Frodo furiously. "Why do ogle me, little rat?" But this time Frodo did not let himself to be put off. "Why have you saved me from Shelob? Please, tell me." But Shagrat's snarling had increased to a dangerous fierceness again, and instead of an answer he hit Frodo's face so hard that the hobbit was sent back to unconsciousness at once. Shagrat jumped to his feet with a furious roar and began to rip off branches from nearby trees as if he was going insane. Then he grabbed the limp hobbit, raised him above his head to let him crash down on the nearest rock and... stopped in the middle of his movement. 

As if under a spell he laid Frodo back into the grass, almost gently, and covered him with rags again. Then he cared for his own wound, and at the same time he remembered that he had looked after the injured hobbit first - a useless rat from the Shire which was not even big enough for a decent Uruk breakfast. The thought made him furious again, and he took Frodo's head in his big paw and mused: "It does not matter: only a little turn and a crack; over and out. But what about the fun if the mite would not even feel anything of it? So maybe later..." Instead of killing him, he lifted the hobbit again and set out to march in a direction that would take them farther away from Shelob's cave and the other orcs...

When Frodo woke up the next time, he moaned with pain for Shagrat's strike had been much more than a simple slap on the face. The Uruk did not care about it, but stretched out his hand to the hobbit, holding a piece of raw meat. Frodo's stomach cramped up at once, but he shook his head with endless care, trying not to make the choleric Uruk angry again. "Please, I can't eat that..." But this time Shagrat stayed calm. "Well, then it's more for me, and I don't care if you starve." Indeed Frodo was starving, so he cautiously went on: "I didn't mean to be ungrateful, it's just..., I am not able to eat such food, but surely there are some mushrooms and berries to find nearby, so if I were allowed to seek some..." Shagrat pulled a disgusted face. "You're enormously getting on my nerves - like a damned flea. So toddle off and look for your rat grub, but spare me your babbling." Slowly Frodo rose. "I'll surely not run away..." Shagrat laughed maliciously. "As far as I'm concerned, you can even return home. I don't care, 'cause I don't have any use for you, and we're about to go back to the Shire anyway."

Frodo stiffened in the middle of the movement and abruptly forgot about his hunger. "We're on our way to the Shire?" he exclaimed, but right at that moment the Uruk jumped to his feet like a predator and was about to stoop down on Frodo again. The hobbit raised his hands to appease him and whispered in panic: "Alright, I'm sorry." Shagrat sat down on the ground again, but the glow in his eyes told Frodo that he would risk another headache or even broken bones with every further word. 

But he had to put everything on one card now. He slowly walked towards Shagrat, proving his hobbit-typical courage, even if it was born out of despair. The Uruk was watching him in obvious confusion. The hobbit stopped close to Shagrat and cautiously placed a hand on his arm. Shagrat winced as if Frodo had touched him with glowing lava and bared his teeth with a growl. Frodo was trembling with fear, but he left his hand on Shagrat's arm and firmly looked the Uruk in the eye. Shagrat met his gaze, but in his eyes a dark fire was glowing; a volcano that was about to erupt any second. The tension grew until it became unbearable. 

Frodo's voice was only a begging whisper, trying to calm down the volcano. "Why are you doing this? Please, I only wish to understand you..." "There's nothing to understand, leave me alone!" Shagrat grunted and pushed Frodo's hand away. "You are in pain," Frodo said softly, "and I would like to help you if I can." Shagrat shook his head and seemed to be almost amused. "You're babbling nonsense, poor little mite. The Uruk-hai don't feel any pain when wounded. We're not such wimps as you and your softened race!" Frodo tried another approach: "I didn't mean the wound that Shelob caused. It's your soul that is suffering..." 

He didn't know what it was this time, but the injured giant was too quick - even for a hobbit. Like a flash he grabbed Frodo, pulled him to the ground, placed a knee on his chest and laid his paw around his neck. The hobbit could not breathe anymore and he felt like he was being crushed. He only managed a troubled pant while he had some breath left. The Uruk above him had taken a huge stone from the ground and raised the hand in a threatening gesture. Time was ticking away.

Frodo found himself in a life-and-death-struggle, for Shagrat was unpredictable in his untamed wildness. Frodo could hardly speak with pain and breathlessness. "If you want to kill me, do it now... but then? Will you go back and explain it? Do you believe Shelob and your orcs would understand what you have done? Please, Shagrat, I can't breathe anymore!" The Uruk loosened his grip around Frodo's throat, but still took aim at his head with the stone. Frodo looked tormented. "You're crushing me..." But Shagrat did not listen. "Say what you have to say, you filthy rat of a halfling, and if I crush you before you've finished: too bad!" 

Frodo felt panic rise inside, for he had not the slightest chance against the enormous strength of an Uruk-hai. He felt sick with pain. Shagrat's weight on his chest would squash him every moment. The worst thing was that he could not think clearly in this state… "Frodo, my name is Frodo," he started to talk away. A touch of uncertainty was reflected in the Uruk's face. "What? What are you up to?" Frodo was panting in pain. "It's simple. My name isn't little rat or maggot or half-pint, just try Frodo, that would be nice for a start..." At least he managed to confuse Shagrat for a moment, but this bought him only a little bit of time. 

At once the Uruk got furious again, and he pulled Frodo's hair so brutally that everything went black before the hobbit's eyes. Shagrat moved his face close to Frodo's and grumbled with threatening calmness: "Stop these games now. Time is up. If you can give me just one good reason why you wanna help me, I might not tear you into pieces. If you can't, I'm gonna smash your head and rid myself of this nuisance forever. And don't get on my nerves with gratitude just because Shelob hasn't feasted on you, for I don't believe in gratitude. I'll only give you one more single chance, so think carefully about what to say now. Why do you want to help me?" Frodo was deadly pale when he whispered with a last effort: "Because the Uruk-hai once were Elves; the most beautiful and brightest of all living beings..."

*********** 

Shagrat slowly lowered his paw. He removed his knee from Frodo's chest and roughly shook him from his daze, trying to make him breathe again. Frodo took a greedy breath and rubbed his painfully crushed ribs. When the flicker before his eyes faded, he noticed that the Uruk was still sitting beside him on the ground, but did not look at him. Indeed he seemed to be deep in thoughts. Frodo did not dare to talk to him or even move, for he was afraid of catching the Uruk's attention. Finally Shagrat turned in his direction again. No rage, no wrath and no wildness were reflected in his face, only great fatigue, Frodo found. "You can't help me, halfling, 'cause I'm doomed!" Then he turned away and rose, but for a moment all his strength seemed to have left him, and he stood on weary feet. "Wait, Shagrat," Frodo called and scrambled to his feet. The Uruk kept his back turned to him. Frodo's voice sounded soft, but forceful: "You're not doomed. That's not true, Shagrat, as I feel there is still something Elvish left in you. Why else should you have helped me? Don't let yourself be destroyed by what Sauron made you. You might be given a different life, if you'd only believe..."

But the peaceful moment was gone. The Uruk spun around quickly and roared like a beast again. "You damned little monster, what are you up to? What spell have you put on me? Everything that happened since you have crossed my path, I have done against my will and nature, you disgusting little devil..."

At this moment Frodo lost his patience and composure as well, and unnervedly shouted at him: "Of course you have done that against your will, you blockheaded monster, for you don't even have a will of your own! You have always served other powers! How about eventually making up your mind? You want to have power? You can't even decide whether you prefer to beat me to death, to tear me into pieces, to devour me or let me live on! May I tell you something: I am sick of fearing your next outburst! Yes, I am afraid of you, because my life is always in danger as long as you're near, utterly depending on your unpredictable moods. I can't stand that any longer, so please, would you simply tell me if you finally decided what..." He interrupted himself in the middle of his speech when he watched Shagrat take up his huge sword and walk slowly towards him. Eyes wide with terror, Frodo stared at him like a rabbit at a snake. Fright paralyzed his limbs, and he could not move even a single inch. But the Uruk stopped three steps in front of him and only growled: "I'll go hunting. Maybe I'm lucky and you have disappeared by the time I return." He vanished into the gloom of the forest and left Frodo behind.

Frodo was trembling all over and his heart beat wildly. Suddenly feeling weak from the fright he had just suffered, he sank to the ground and cried out of exhaustion and hopelessness. It had simply been insane to provoke an Uruk this way. He just hadn't pondered that because he had simply lost control. Or was it not insanity? Frodo tried to think clearly. Had his instinct led him to do the right thing? At least Shagrat had not beheaded him with his sword. With a sigh, Frodo recognized that maybe this meant nothing. Maybe Shagrat did not even understand what he had told him. Sometimes he really doubted that an Uruk would ever understand anything. On the other hand Shagrat had just given him a second chance to escape. What kept him from simply leaving this place? Even if Shagrat would change his mind in the meantime, a single Uruk would barely have a chance to catch a quick hobbit in the dense thicket. With a little luck he would get to Rivendell in about a week, for the roads were not as dangerous anymore as in those times when Sauron had sent his dark messengers. If there was someone who possibly knew something about Sam's fate, it would be in Rivendell. And the others had to be near and already on his track. Frodo rose determinedly… and sat down again.

Why was he not able to do that? Why would he think of himself as a traitor if he left now? But he already knew the answer. The Uruk was someone lost and banished, lonesome and surrounded by foes, for the Uruk-hai were hated in all parts of Middle-earth. He could not go anywhere, for there would be no way back for him. Frodo felt pity rising inside. He sighed and sadly shook his head because he felt helpless and overburdened. This feeling was very familiar to him. Once more tears welled up in his eyes. Just why did I return to Middle Earth? he mused in despair. I would not have needed to suffer all of this. But at once he called himself a fool because he remembered that they would have caught Sam anyway. It did not matter if he had been there or not, and without him, things would have gone even worse for Sam. He felt ashamed about his egoistic thoughts. But suddenly another idea flashed through his mind: Shagrat might not even return. Why should he? But he had carried him all the way, halfway back home. Nevertheless Gollum would not be grateful, he would betray him. Frodo stirred. Why Gollum? He was frightened as he became aware of where his thoughts had led him. What did his memories stir up? Exhausted, Frodo sank down to the moist grass again, trying hard to banish these weird ideas, and he soon fell into restless sleep.

*********** 

He awoke in the middle of the night when he heard Shagrat return. "So you're still here, tiny thing," the Uruk stated without any interest. He threw a hunted roe deer to the ground and tried to kindle a fire. Frodo watched him in surprise. "Isn't it a bit dangerous to light a fire at night?" Shagrat growled curtly, but Frodo did not care, for he had got used to that. "Listen, maggot! Didn't you tell me you won't eat any raw meat? But if you like to, you can show me how to roast the beast without using fire, mighty wizard!" Frodo frowned because he could not clearly make out whether these words were meant as a joke, or if Shagrat was angry again. As a precaution he chose the second possibility and decided not to say anything more for the time being. But he still watched with interest how the Uruk was trying to get the fire going. Actually the Uruk-hai were not known for using fire, for they favoured raw meat anyway. But when Shagrat finally took his sword to chop the deer into bloody pieces, Frodo shivered and disgustedly turned away. With a sigh he realized that the terms "orcish" and "esthetical" did no go together - least of all concerning meals. Every hobbit would shudder at this!

"What is it? No words left, little toad?" Frodo snorted, for being a hobbit made him disapprove of any expression of impoliteness anyway. Little toad! How nice! But somehow he felt that the Uruk did not mean to offend him this time. But he wished to know for sure. So he gathered all his courage to reply: "No, big clumsy monster! But I'm starving. So hurry up to get the meal ready, if you don't mind!" He could have bit his tongue, for Shagrat would surely attack him once more or even throw him into the fire... Frodo started when he heard the Uruk burst into roaring laughter instead. "Now look at this! You can even speak normally, who'd have guessed...?" Frodo shuddered, for he had managed to break the ice for a moment by using the orcish way of speech. By the Valar, what would come next? But at least this would be the more pleasant solution for the time being. Frodo sighed in resignation. 

During the next hour, the giant Uruk and the little hobbit could be seen peacefully eating and sitting together by the fire. It almost seemed to have always been that way. No one disturbed them in their peace. Of course Shagrat devoured a raw and bloody lot, but Frodo bore it calmly, for he was so hungry himself that it was of no interest to him what the Uruk did or did not do now. But when Frodo's most urgent need for food was stilled, he started to ponder again. Something had to happen, but what?

Shagrat noticed Frodo's strained expression and grunted: "Did the grub make you sick?" Frodo moaned in his mind because of the Uruk's 'sensitivity', but he pulled himself together. He would have to start anew, and he knew that it would be difficult. "Shagrat, how would you like the idea of going to Rivendell together?" The eyes of the Uruk narrowed suspiciously at once. "Of what use would that be?" Frodo went on: "Elves are dwelling there. They could possibly help you to..." Shagrat hissed like a wild cat, but this time Frodo did not let the Uruk confuse him, and his voice got a bit sharper. "Damn, will you just listen to me once without losing your temper? Can you manage that?" Shagrat still growled under his breath. But when the hobbit curtly raised his hand, he fell silent. For a moment Frodo was astonished about the effect of this simple gesture, but he did not take his time to ponder that now. 

"Now at least try to think clearly, will you? What are you going to do? You have to go somewhere. Or do you want to roam the woods until your orc-brothers find you?" "I don't have any brothers, but if these blockheads should show up, I'll be able to deal with them," Shagrat interrupted him, and his eyes started to glow again. "And it's none of your business. So why do you even care?" Frodo pitifully looked at him. "I feel responsible because it's my fault that you're in this situation now..." Shagrat laughed bitterly. "You're babbling nonsense, idiot, and it seems you have forgotten that it was me who delivered you to Shelob." "No, Shagrat, I haven't forgotten that, but that's not important anymore. Everything has changed." The Uruk was irritated again. "Do you think I am that gullible? Do you think I wouldn't know that you are planning to take revenge as soon as you are around your people? Do you believe I'm that stupid?" Frodo sighed and shook his head. It was hopeless. 

But before giving up, he remembered his still unanswered question, or - put differently - Frodo pretty exactly remembered the forceful answer of the Uruk. The memory sent a shiver down his spine. But tough as the hobbit was, he finally dared to continue: "Would you mind telling me now why you did save me from Shelob?" The Uruk clenched his fists and bared his teeth, making a horrible grimace. Frodo crouched in expectation of a terrible blow, but Shagrat jumped to his feet instead, roaring loudly, and, like a wild beast, started to tear out nearby bushes. Frodo went pale while watching him. He could not explain it to himself, but obviously the Uruk was really suffering whenever this question came up. Maybe it had been bred by Sauron that any - however tiny - thought of pity caused Shagrat terrible torment. Worst of all, he probably did not even realize that he felt pain, that he could not even understand what they had done to him. He had been brought to life for only one single purpose: to fight and to kill for The Dark Lord. Frodo suddenly was overwhelmed by pity for this disturbed creature. But at the same time he was suffering from infinite helplessness, for he had not the slightest idea what to do.

Right at this moment the Uruk remembered Frodo, and he came towards him, charging like a bull. Frodo blinked in panic and tried to back away. Shagrat did not seize him, but only yelled: "What is it? Why do you ogle me, you cursed little dung beetle?" Frodo desperately tried to appease the raging Uruk. "Shagrat, I'm sorry, I won't ask you again, I promise. Please, don't be mad at me anymore..." As if under a spell, the outburst of the Uruk subsided. Frodo sighed in relief, although his composure was noticeably shattered. All this cost him too much strength. Once more he felt small and weak, helpless against the power of evil. But he could still leave if he wanted to. But Frodo immediately pushed this futile thought away. He would not be able to, he knew that. Both their fates were already too closely knit together…

*********** 

When Frodo woke up the next morning, he learned that the Uruk had carried him another good long distance during the night. It seemed as if those creatures did not ever really sleep - just like the Elves. But the hobbit could not explain why he had not felt anything of it, for it seemed rather odd to him that he would sleep that well in so unsafe a situation. Was this a special ability of these huge fighting orcs: to put one out of action and into trance? If this was true, it meant they were more like the Elves than the smaller cave orcs. Nevertheless the idea of a gift like this caused the hobbit to feel rather uncomfortable, since he still was at Shagrat's mercy altogether, though he found some comfort in believing that it could be different. Perhaps his Elvish roots were claiming the Uruk, spreading slowly... Frodo hung on to this believe with a sigh.

Suddenly the Uruk disturbed him by proclaiming that he would go hunting again. Frodo thoughtfully nodded and was glad to escape his company for a while. Again his heart doubted that this would ever lead to something useful. Still he had no idea how to go on with Shagrat. At the same time he was blaming himself for not having thought of Sam more often during the past days. If he only knew whether his true friend had survived! It could not go on like that. He urgently had to act. Shagrat returned with another bloody prey, and Frodo preferred not to inquire what kind of beast it was this time, for Uruks would like any kind of meat. Faced with his overwhelming hunger, the hobbit decided that compromising was inevitable, and he bravely suppressed his impulse to retch.

When the fire was burning, he resolutely turned to the Uruk. "Shagrat, I have considered something. I wish to reach Rivendell as soon as possible. So if you really do not want to come with me, it is best to separate at the next crossing. It is only there that I can learn anything about my friends' fate. This is important to me, whether you understand it or not. I can not stand this lasting uncertainty any longer..." "Keep calm, little worm," the Uruk interrupted him with a growl. "In my opinion you're much faster this way than by walking on your own strange feet, or did I get that wrong?" Frodo did not want to enrage him anew and hurried to say: "It's not because of you, but I thought that going to Rivendell would not seem to be such a good idea to you. Furthermore I do not know whether my people are already near, and meeting them might be dangerous for you, for they cannot know that...," he sought for a suitable expression, "that you might have become less hostile toward me in the meantime." "What makes you think that way?" Shagrat asked sharply.

Frodo let go of this thought and headed another way. "It's just... it's torturing me that I do not know what have happened to Sam..." "Who's Sam?" Frodo rolled his eyes, but patiently explained: "My friend, the other halfling you had carried off..." The Uruk threw a small stone in Frodo's direction, but obviously not to hurt him. It was rather his way of getting Frodo's full attention. "Your head is full of muck again! That other rat has croaked long ago, did you forget about that?" Suddenly Frodo could only reluctantly go on: "You can't know for sure. Maybe he had been found and given the right medicine in time." "Nonsense!" the Uruk snarled again, "he's dead and rotten and the worms have already feasted on him. Do you get that?" Frodo went pale at the Uruk's hard and cruel statement, and he fought to keep his composure. He quietly replied: "But I still hope..." Shagrat bared his teeth. "Hope? What's that?"

Frodo gave up and lowered his head in resignation. He had no strength left to fight against the dark power which seemed to squeeze any bright spark out of him. He covered his face with his hands to see or hear nothing more, but darkness had suddenly claimed him. It would not release him from its claws. He felt like falling into a gaping abyss. Dizziness and nausea overcame him. He was shivering, and cold sweat appeared on his forehead. He felt his heart being crushed by an icy pair of tongs. He could not breathe anymore and felt like he was going to drown, for he was dragged down inevitably. Creepy and wildly hissing voices stormed in on him. Filthy thief, Baggins! Glowing eyes and cobwebs all around him. He could not move anymore. Black wings soaring above him, horrible screams out of the past seemed to pierce his brain. He remembered that noise, those faceless black figures, trying to grab him with skeleton-like fingers. Leave me alone! I do not have it anymore... But the claws clutched him unyieldingly. Frodo screamed and cried while desperately trying to free himself, but he was continously shaken and would surely get sick any moment... Another voice from afar, again and again: "Wake up, damn, come round!"

Suddenly he managed to breathe again and he felt being lifted. He squinted wearily, trying to penetrate the mist shadowing his sight. Slowly he realized that Shagrat had seized him, staring at him with an unrecognizable expression. "What is it? Is anything wrong with you?" Frodo remembered where he was, but right now the memories did not help to calm him down. He did not want to be here and grimly tried to rid himself of the Uruk's grip. "Leave me alone!" he screamed in panic. Distractedly Shagrat let go of him and returned to the fire with a grumble. Frodo for his part grabbed a filthy hide that lay nearby to cower underneath it, sobbing. 

He was panting heavily, and his heart still beat wildly. Nevertheless Frodo felt some relief, for the nightmare was gone. Slowly he calmed down. And suddenly the hobbit remembered what Shagrat had asked him, and he held his breath, though he did not even dare to hope that the Uruk might just have shown some concern. Frodo cautiously turned his head to the fire and noticed Shagrat motionless sitting there, but the Uruk's expression was darker than ever. Frodo was shivering with cold and pulled the hide tightly about himself. Finally exhaustion overwhelmed him, and he fell asleep.

He awoke when he felt the Uruk's huge paw on his forehead. Frodo squinted in confusion and sat up. Shagrat was kneeling beside him. "Finally finished sleeping, little worm?" But without waiting for an answer, Shagrat opened his other hand to drop something before the hobbit's feet: mushrooms! Frodo looked up in astonishment and - as a precaution - gave Shagrat a questioning gaze at first. "So what are you staring at me like a rabbit? After all you must be hungry. Haven't eaten anything since your fuss yesterday. And - in case I got it right - you're utterly crazy about this snail food, aren't you?" Frodo carefully smiled. "Thank you, Shagrat," he said quietly. But the Uruk only curtly grumbled. Indeed, what else was he supposed to do, Frodo thought, for he would have no business with gratitude. Nevertheless the hobbit gave in to the warm feeling spreading inside him.

Shagrat had already turned away, but Frodo quickly rose and called after him: "Just wait, for I want to tell you something." "Wanna get on my nerves again?" the giant growled, but he turned about to listen to him. "I am sorry for shouting at you yesterday, but indeed, I didn't feel well," the hobbit simply explained. "So what! Who cares?" "You did..." Shagrat was baffled for a moment and about to bluster again: "Once more you're babbling..." "... nonsense, little toad - I know," Frodo interrupted him, finishing the sentence. Now the Uruk was utterly put off his stroke, for he did not know what to answer. So he simply picked up his sword. But this time Frodo was not startled. "I am gonna go hunting, for I can't possibly live on snail food," Shagrat stated and rushed off. He almost looked like being on the run, but before vanishing in the dense wood, he turned around once more to see the hobbit standing there: with legs apart, arms folded and an unmistakably mischievous expression on his face. The Uruk was even more confused by this sight. Shaking his head in bewilderment, he disappeared into the thicket.

Frodo was still smiling when the Uruk was out of sight. Suddenly he had recalled the meaning of hope...

*********** 


	2. Part 2

The next two days brought them nearer to Rivendell. Shagrat did not use any road, and Frodo could not exactly tell where they were. At the moment they were wandering through a region with many caves. Trolls had dwelled here in the past. But now the caves looked silent and deserted. No matter how badly Frodo wished that Elves would eventually cross their path, he also worried more and more about what would happen to Shagrat, if such a meeting came to pass. He could have torn out his hair. He had been down-hearted all day long because he was not making any progress with Shagrat. At least they had been getting along with each other pretty well, never mind the Uruk's usual polite statements. In the meantime Frodo had learned how to parry these by imitating the Uruk's rude tone, although he did not like this method. It was not part of Hobbit culture. But he had noticed it was a good way to keep the peace, better in any case than being excruciated by bruises and contusions.

This time they made their way by daylight. Despite his low spirits Frodo enjoyed walking on his own feet again, since his wounds were healing very well. One reason for this was the burning ointment the Uruk had applied to the aching spots again. Only the smell of the black fluid put Frodo's nose to the test, and he did rather not inquire about what this stuff was made of. Since the Uruk-hai's single purpose was that of fighting and warfare, they almost always moved in an enduring, fast trot, so very soon Shagrat had enough of walking beside the much slower hobbit. Without a warning he suddenly lifted him to place him on his shoulders. First Frodo found it a pretty useful solution to return to his friends even faster, but when the Uruk started to move, Frodo clung to his neck in panic and desperately fought to keep his stomach under control. Suddenly he had the unerring impression of his face turning greenish. Pull yourself together, Frodo Baggins, he scolded himself, you have just already gone through worse.

Finally Frodo managed to ignore the shaking and rocking, and he gave in to brooding once more. Although he found it hard to accept, he had to admit that Shagrat would simply not be able to imagine a future. Fighting orcs did not have any dreams, plans or wishes. They only knew orders. Maybe I just should command him to imagine a future, Frodo thought bitterly. But the Uruk would only face whatever should come to pass... and he would probably get killed as a result. Cursed Sauron! Frodo felt more helpless than ever when suddenly something caught his attention. Excitedly, he tapped on the Uruk's shoulder, which the giant answered with a growl. "There is a lake nearby. Would you mind stopping there?" "What's up? Tired again, tiny thing?" "No, you big clumsy fool, it's just that I urgently wish to wash myself properly." "What a strange idea is this now?" Enervated, Frodo gave a loud groan: "Just do what I ask of you, alright?" The Uruk muttered: "Well, if it makes you happy..." In any case Frodo could not help being surprised that Shagrat knew the term 'happy' anyway. 

The giant put him down more carefully than Frodo had expected. The hobbit thanked him and immediately began to undress. But suddenly he hesitated because Shagrat did not move and seemed to look at him thoughtfully. "What's up?" Frodo asked, somewhat unpleasantly touched. The Uruk puffed: "It's you who should tell me, half-pint! Not that I'm interested, but somehow I've noticed you're not so well at all today, for you've been talking less than usual..." Frodo was baffled. Shagrat had shown a feeling, and he was even right! Frodo's melancholy had not remained hidden from him. Should he finally be able to..., no, not now, the hobbit decided, for he wanted to get into the water and nothing else for the time being. "It's alright, Shagrat, but thanks for asking." The Uruk shrugged and said: "I needn't watch you doing this nonsense, must I? I'll go and see if I can find something to eat. Look, there's is a cave over there where you might wait for me." With that he left, and Frodo admitted to himself that it was more than pleasant for him that Shagrat had not preferred to watch him…   
The hobbit found the cave surprisingly comfortable, because it was dry and sheltered from the wind. Frodo looked for some firewood and then tried to get some sleep until Shagrat would return. But the gloomy mood returned. Only the wonderfully warm and clear water of the lake had protected him from his melancholy for a while. Once more Frodo thought of Sam and desperately longed for Galadriel's mirror. Then he remembered that the messages brought by this magical instrument could be rather deceptive. Not exactly a useful memory to ease his heart right now. He almost missed Shagrat's return, for he was too deep in thought. The Uruk did not disturb him for the time being and took care of a meal instead.

"What is it, you bad-tempered worm? Not hungry?" "Not that much, but thank you," Frodo murmured and absent-mindedly reached for a piece of meat. Shagrat grunted: "Come on now, tiny thing, don't you wanna grow a little more?" Actually Frodo was not in the mood to start such an orc-funny talk right now. However, out of politeness he decided to join Shagrat at least during the meal. But when he turned to the giant, his guts cramped painfully, even before he really understood what he saw in front of him. The Uruk stopped chewing, watching the hobbit, who, paralyzed by horror, dropped the meat, rose slowly and backed away to the wall - his face as white as a sheet. Shagrat frowned. "What's wrong with you? Are you sick again?" Frodo did not answer and started to tremble and retch uncontrollably instead. He offered a pitiful sight, trying not to lose his foothold by groping for the cave wall and fixing his wild gaze onto something lying on the ground beside the Uruk. It was unmistakable: badly torn clothes, not belonging to anyone of them. Confused, Shagrat followed Frodo's gaze, but then he casually raised his hand to a soothing gesture: "Oh, this is what you mean... just don't be frightened, little worm, for it was no halfling - just some blockheaded dwarf..."

With a moan Frodo collapsed, digging his fingers into the stony ground, believing he would never ever stop to vomit. Impenetrable blackness blurred his view, and his entire body was shaken convulsively. As if through a dense mist, he heard the Uruk's voice complain: "What is it now? The meat ain't even raw, so what's the matter? If you don't want to eat it, just tell me! Damn, no-one can understand you at all…" He was stopped at this point, for Frodo had jumped to his feet with a scream and suddenly attacked the completely perplexed giant in mad fury. His fists were beating Shagrat with hitherto unknown wrath, though this was utterly useless, and his shrieking voice almost cracked: "What kind of a mad monster are you!? What a cruel and miserable creature! How could you do this? Why, just why..." His words turned into loud sobs, and weakened he sank to the ground, right before the Uruk's feet. The furious outburst ebbed away abruptly, and Frodo was shaken by crying fits instead, which made his whole body tremble.

Only at this moment Shagrat dared to move again, for he had been much too surprised to react to this utterly unexpected attack. He looked at the helplessly squirming creature before his feet and bared his teeth with a growl. A deep rumble came out of his throat when he knelt down to seize the now only softly whimpering hobbit. Frodo barely defended himself when Shagrat pulled him close.

The Uruk growled again, but this time it did not sound perilous, but rather irresolute. He seemed to ponder whether he had just broken this delicate being without even touching it. Then he carefully tried to get Frodo on his feet again, finally succeeding in spite of his awkwardness. He preferred not to let go of him, for the small figure was trembling so heavily that it was about to break down again the next moment. 

Continuously, tears ran down Frodo's cheeks. The Uruk helplessly touched the weeping hobbit's face, as if trying to find out the purpose of this strange fluid. Frodo let it happen defencelessly. Shagrat still held him tight, and Frodo weakly let his head sink onto the shoulder of the giant kneeling in front of him. The Uruk did not know what to do in his helplessness. So he awkwardly tried to shake the hobbit out of his daze. "No, Shagrat, leave me..." Frodo begged, barely audible. With a soft snarl, Shagrat lifted the defenceless hobbit to get him to a corner of the cave, leaning him against the wall.

Never before the giant's voice had sounded that concerned and remorseful. "What's wrong with you, little worm? I don't understand you..." Frodo tiredly looked into the Uruk's questioning eyes. "I know," he whispered with a choking voice. Shagrat frowned. "Then just explain it to me..." But Frodo only shook his head, infinitely sad. He simply had no strength left, and he did not want to explain anything else to this hideous monster anymore. It seemed so useless to him. Though he felt that something had changed during the horrible moments of his breakdown. The giant seemed to ponder, grumbling restlessly. After a while he carefully started anew: "Are you friend to the dwarfs?" Frodo did not reply, but slowly nodded. Then he covered his face with his hands, sobbing again, remembering what was lying there next to the fire. He became aware of not being able to blame the Uruk for it at all. This pitiable creature had done nothing but answered the call of his own nature. How should he have known better, for he was just a hopelessly ill and mentally mutilated creature, brought to life by unscrupulous dark powers for only one purpose: to hunt and to kill everyone who dared to oppose his kind.

The hobbit's dark thoughts were interrupted when the remorseful voice of the Uruk reached him again. "I'm sorry, little Frodo, for I didn't want to make you so sad." Frodo looked up in disbelief, trying to read the giant's face. But Shagrat was sitting before him, his head lowered, distracted like a caught child waiting for punishment. The hobbit was painfully touched by this pitiful sight, and he gently put his little hand on the Uruk's big paw. "You're not to blame, Shagrat", he said softly. The Uruk breathed hard in embarrassment and then frowned. "So... no dwarfs anymore... and no halflings either...," he muttered, uncertainly looking at Frodo. "But what about Elves?" Frodo desperately sighed: "Shagrat, nothing that wears any clothes! Please, promise it to me!" he pleaded. The Uruk seriously nodded. "I promise..." But the hobbit was not sure at all whether Shagrat would realize the meaning of this word. He turned his face to the fire, wearily blinking a tear away. "Could you take this away to bury it? Please, I can not bear this sight any longer." Without protest, the giant rose to fulfil Frodo's request. 

Utterly exhausted with the enormous emotional shock, Frodo soon fell into a deep and dreamless sleep. Hours later he awoke, noticing the giant sitting next to him, watching him attentively. Shagrat awkwardly held out his paw to him, offering some mushrooms. Only to think of eating, made Frodo feel sick again. Carefully the Uruk took the hobbit's hand to give him the mushrooms. "You just have to eat something, for you must not get ill again." Frodo forced a smile, taking note of Shagrat's awkward efforts to cheer him up again. He could not help but look at him almost lovingly, for the Uruk was so kindly concerned about him. Something had happened the night before, though Frodo could not quite put his finger on it. It had not been the first time Shagrat had seen him that shattered. Attentively watched by the Uruk, Frodo tried one of the mushrooms with a sigh, hoping not to become sick again. The giant looked pleased when he saw Frodo bravely swallow. "Well, everything will be alright again," he stated. "When you've finished your meal, we may go on... if you want."

Frodo hurried to nod, for he wished to leave this awful cave as soon as possible. Shagrat noticed that the hobbit was still weak and shaky. "I will carry you on my shoulders again," he resolutely proclaimed. In panic, Frodo wondered whether his tortured stomach would stand this procedure. As if guessing his thoughts, the Uruk grumbled in a calming tone: "I will take care not to shake you that much, for I don't want you to get sick again." Frodo looked up at him and could not help smiling weakly. He was oddly touched by Shagrat's clumsiness. Yet Frodo did not find the courage in himself to trust this peace at all, since he was aware of Shagrat still being a dangerous and unpredictable creature. 

When Frodo was left to his own thoughts once more, sitting on Shagrat's shoulders, he could not help being astonished that the Uruk finally had arrived at his own right conclusions. He also suddenly remembered that on this occasion Shagrat had called him Frodo for the first time, and he allowed his wounded soul to be comforted by the balm of this memory. Oh, Shagrat, he sadly mused, if only I could do something for you! But he still did not know what this might be. Hope was slowly fading, for they were definitely getting closer to Rivendell. He would not be able to protect the Uruk from his doom any longer...

*********** 

They did not meet anyone during the next day either. Somehow it was a relief to Frodo, since he felt panic slowly seize him. What if they would finally reach the realm of the Elves? Certainly these would discern them at first anyway, for they were most skilful in hiding from the eyes of strangers. The hobbit was sad though not to see the tiniest trace of his friends. Anyway, he did not know any of the paths Shagrat had chosen. He could only estimate the right direction by checking the position of the sun. Shagrat was trotting beside the hobbit, after Frodo had resolutely proclaimed that he would like to walk on his own today. First the Uruk had grumpily growled about this idea, but Frodo had insisted on having his way. The hobbit admitted to himself that he was slowing down their travelling pace on purpose. If only he could get this stupid monster to think more clearly...

Shagrat, for his part, was a little confused because of the hobbit's slow pace, for an Uruk was only used to promptly start moving to fulfil his next assigned evil mission. He coarsely grabbed the hobbit's arm to drag him into the right direction at each new crossing. Each time Frodo started in pain. Obviously the giant has forgotten that I'm just a little worm, Frodo thought, clenching his teeth. When he looked up, he noticed that Shagrat seemed to be deep in thought indeed.

Again the path branched off, and this time the Uruk pushed him so hard to the right that Frodo fell down, bruising his knee. "That will do, rude fellow!" he furiously exclaimed. Shagrat blinked in confusion. "Are you angry at me again, little worm?" Frodo moaned: "Not really! It's just - you must be more careful not to hurt me!" The Uruk gave him a blank look. "Shagrat, just remember I'm a halfling! You simply hurt me, for I'm not so sturdy as you are." Suddenly the Uruk got this oddly remorseful expression again, which was just not like him at all. Frodo probably had distressed him and now could not help smiling cheerfully: "Don't worry, just be a little more careful," he patiently explained. "Sometimes you simply forget what your strength is able to do." The Uruk growled in protest: "You're enormously mistaken, for I know exactly what I can do with my strength! That is: I could crush you to death with only one foot or strangle you easily with one hand. Would you like me to show you?" Suddenly Frodo had a thick lump in his throat, but started at hearing Shagrat burst out into roaring laughter. "Did the joke work? I've properly scared you, haven't I?" Frodo just pulled a face about this kind of humor. That's just great, he thought, orcish jokes... just wait until we get married some day! He decided that gallows humor fit this situation best.

*********** 

Later, when they were sitting by the fire and eating, the Uruk was strangely withdrawn again. Frodo did not really dare to address him. Any peaceful moment still seemed treacherous to him. Suddenly Shagrat looked at him, and Frodo noticed his tired expression in astonishment. "Is something wrong with you?" he carefully asked. Shagrat snarled, but this time it sounded oddly crestfallen. "Once you asked me why I have saved you from Shelob..." Frodo held his breath. Uncertainly, the Uruk continued: "I don't know how to say it, but I think you have done something with me." He interrupted himself, brooding. "Sometimes there was a strange feeling... I just don't know what it was." Shagrat sighed resignedly. But this moment was much too precious to Frodo to simply waste it. "Please, go on," he urgently whispered, "for you can tell me everything - no matter what." The Uruk thoughtfully gazed at him. "You're just doing it again, but lately it has not been as bad as before." Frodo frowned. He had no idea what the Uruk was talking about, though he nodded to encourage him. "What exactly do you mean?" Shagrat grunted. "This is the problem: I don't have the words to explain it to you. I have pondered it all day long... but maybe it's not that important." He shook his head and fell silent.

Frodo audibly exhaled and then slowly rose to sit down closer to the Uruk. "Shagrat, your feelings are important, and I'd really like to get to know more about them. Just use the words you know, and maybe I can help you then." Indeed, Frodo found that the Uruk had learned many new words recently, and that his tone was not that rude anymore either. Please, Shagrat, don't let me down now, he silently begged. The giant unintelligibly grumbled, and Frodo felt pity arise. This conversation had to be difficult and complicated for him. How should he ever have learned how to express himself, just shouting only orders and insults before? So the hobbit waited with endless patience. 

Shagrat spoke haltingly, looking at him: "A while ago you furiously shouted at me, telling me you were feeling pain. Then I remembered that sometimes I had shouted in fury as well. Do you think that I was feeling any pain then, too?" Frodo blinked in confusion. "I don't know exactly, Shagrat. Did you feel something different than before?" The Uruk mused: "Well, yes, and in the beginning it was so terrible that I just wanted to roar and even tear you apart to devour you - just to make it stop, you know?" Frodo remembered with a shudder, but then understandingly nodded and carefully asked: "So why didn't you?" Shagrat shrugged. "I don't know, little worm. Maybe it's a kind of wizardry working in me, if you know what I mean..." The words were dripping into Frodo's memories, just like a touch of soothing balm. If you know what I mean... How often had Sam used these words, not being sure whether Frodo would really understand what he was clumsily trying to say. Frodo silently smiled, for suddenly he clearly felt that Sam was still alive. Please, let it be true... 

He led his thoughts back to Shagrat who evidently did not know how to go on. "I am surely no wizard. You must have felt something else. Just think a little!" The Uruk took a strained breath. "That's it, for sometimes there is another strange feeling, right at the same spot. However, this one does not make me roar. When this feeling is there, I'm not angry at all, but rather want to bring you some food or carry you on my shoulders... I don't know how to tell..." Frodo hardly dared to breathe. "Shagrat, just what spot do you mean? Where do you feel that pain exactly?" The giant awkwardly pointed at his broad chest, uncertainly grunting: "Right here. But this must sound pretty weird to you, doesn't it?"

Embarrassed, Shagrat lowered his head, not noticing that suddenly tears were welling up in Frodo's eyes. But the hobbit quickly wiped them off, for he did not want to confuse the Uruk now. Shagrat would surely think he was sad again. So he bravely fought to regain his composure before replying: "That's your heart, Shagrat, and it's talking to you. It might never have done this before, so you did not know these feelings."

Shagrat uncomprehendingly looked up, making Frodo try another way: "I know this is not easy to understand for you, but..." - he feverishly fished for words - "in case you get this other strange feeling, it's really good and right, and you should listen to it. This feeling should be like an order to do what comes to your mind right at that moment." Frodo desperately hoped that his words would at least make any approximate sense to the Uruk. Shagrat brooded for a moment and then nodded: "I will try to recall this. But what about this other strange feeling, making me furious? Do you also know what this means?"

The hobbit thought hard. "I think you've felt this pain because... because perhaps you hadn't been created like this to feel your heart, so when it started nevertheless to make itself felt, it must have been like a disease, torturing and hurting you. Well, this could be the solution. You said it has not been that bad anymore recently. Possibly the disease is slowly healing, don't you think so?"

The Uruk was uneasily shifting, evidently anxious to follow Frodo's implementations. "But why did it make itself felt, though the Uruk-hai were not made to feel it?" Frodo sighed: "Shagrat, I can truly not explain this, for there are many things I don't know myself." The giant looked up in surprise. "But you are so wise, little Frodo." The hobbit smilingly shook his head. "Thank you, clumsy giant, but there are secrets that no-one of us will ever learn. Some things we simply have to accept. It's only important that you're well now after going through all this. Do you feel better now?" Shagrat was brooding again and then sadly grumbled: "I don't know, little worm, for I haven't felt anything before." His voice trailed off, and Frodo quickly blinked a pitiful tear away. "It's alright, Shagrat, I think you're better now. You are not enraged that often anymore", he said firmly. "If you say so, it should be right, wise little worm," the Uruk replied with a confirming nod. Frodo couldn't help smiling again. "Is there anything else you want to know, Shagrat? You can ask me everything, in case you don't know what do to. I'd really like to help you."

Once more the Uruk thoughtfully sighed, becoming silent for a while. Finally he seriously looked into the hobbit's eyes. "Are you my friend, Frodo?" Frodo's shoulders became cramped. He bit his lip, taking a deep breath. He had not expected such a question at all. Suddenly he did not manage to think clearly any more, feeling utterly helpless. Forced by the Uruk's distracted growl, he slowly raised his head. He sadly gazed at Shagrat, begging for understanding. "I don't know," he said quietly, his voice toneless. The eyes of the giant abruptly darkened, and he rose with a rumble. "Please, Shagrat..." Frodo quickly tried to calm him down, but the Uruk hissed at him so sharply that Frodo fell silent, observing him in alarm instead. Shagrat roared furiously. Then he grabbed his sword to pound on a trunk with it. Frodo broke out in a sweat. He slowly rose to jump aside if necessary - just in case the Uruk's rage was focussed on him now. But Shagrat did not even look at him. He vanished into the dark of the forest instead, simply leaving the hobbit behind. Frodo cowered to the ground again and exhaustedly closed his eyes for a moment. He had just unmistakably hurt Shagrat.

Suddenly the hobbit felt very lonesome and lost, sitting alone on the edge of the wide clearing. Gloomy memories began to torture him anew, their evil shadows threatening to overwhelm him. Once more hissing and shrieking voices were attacking him. He desperately pressed his hands to his ears, trying to escape them. But the voices were in his head, and he could not banish them. "Leave me alone!" he wildly screamed, jumping to his feet, harassed. The voices subsided, and Frodo leaned against a tree, heavily panting. When his heart finally beat calmly again, he sank back into the dewy grass.

Oh, Gandalf, what am I supposed to do? Frodo badly longed for his beloved mentor and friend whose wisely spoken words had gently led him on the right way so often. I'm just not strong enough for this task, he thought tiredly. Why has it to be me again? What do you want from me? Has the One Ring not been enough yet, he bitterly mused. But self-pity would lead him nowhere.

Distractedly, he remembered Gollum: his hard and vain struggle with this miserable creature, which had abused his trust in the end, treacherously leaving him and Sam to a dreadful doom. The horrible memory made him shiver. Shagrat would betray him as well. The Uruk surely was not less distorted by Mordor's black powers as Gollum had been. He just had demonstrated his uncontrolled rage anew. Again and again Frodo's hope for a better standing with the Uruk had been wasted. He would still remain an unpredictably wild and dangerous creature. Only one thing did not conform: Gollum had craftily delivered him to Shelob, but Shagrat had protected him from her sting and had even got wounded in doing so. Besides, recently the Uruk had honestly tried to understand Frodo's patient explanations.

Though, what did an Uruk know of friendship anyway? What kind of a simple concept of it could this monster have after all? But the hobbit scolded himself a fool. It was just not fair to think so. How should Shagrat have known any better? How could he ever have learned before? Frodo sadly shook his head, sighing. Was there nothing else left than carrying the burden again? But he had known the answer for a long time.

He realized he was walking on very thin ice, which would either carry him or break under him. If he really wanted to help Shagrat, he would have to find the courage to cross the ice, reaching out his hand to the Uruk. Besides he became aware of something else: if he offered his friendship to Shagrat, he would have to let him go to find his own way, wherever this would lead him. The Uruk would follow his destiny, and Frodo would not allow himself to resist its call.

In any case he would not urge Shagrat to join him on his way to Rivendell any longer. When he listened to himself, Frodo had honestly to admit that he did not trust such an option anymore. Wishful thinking had just made him overshoot the mark. Rivendell simply was not a place that could be home to such a creature, but the hobbit had not the faintest idea where Shagrat belonged anyway. He would be absolutely homeless now - a renegade among his own people: a leftover from the turmoil of former ages, still roaming Middle-earth and hated by everyone. 

His thoughts far from a solution, Frodo fell into a restless sleep.

*********** 

A growl beside him made him start. "Want to miss the whole day, little toad, don't you?" Indeed, the hobbit had exhaustedly been sleeping till afternoon. Squinting, Frodo sat up, quickly trying to assess the Uruk's mood. Everything seemed normal, for Shagrat had brought mushrooms and berries with him, which touched Frodo somewhat every time it occurred. Evidently this was Shagrat's way to apologize for his rude behaviour. The giant had sat down next to him, attentively making sure that Frodo finished his meal. Sometimes he really reminds me of Sam, just at this moment, the hobbit thought smilingly.

After a while Shagrat seriously and determinedly looked into his eyes: "I have considered something, little worm. We will probably go separate ways soon." Frodo swallowed, painfully moved by the idea of separation, although he knew it was inevitable. "What will you do then, Shagrat?" The Uruk only quietly grumbled, otherwise remaining silent. Obviously he did not know. Suddenly Frodo felt incredibly sad and empty inside. He could have cried, for he just realized how much he had grown fond of Shagrat in the meantime. But he composedly looked at the giant. "I have considered something as well, Shagrat. You have asked me whether I would be your friend, and I didn't have an answer..."

The Uruk soothingly grumbled. "Don't worry about that, little worm, for now I know this cannot work." Frodo looked at him in astonishment. "What do you mean?" Shagrat stared to the ground and went on, his voice softer than usual: "The Uruk-hai don't have any friends. Everybody hates them, and they hate everybody. It will always be this way... we are doomed." His sad und final statement made the hobbit wince in pain. But he would not give up so soon. "Not so hasty, Shagrat, it's not this simple..." But the Uruk had risen, seemingly determined to vanish into the forest again. Frodo rose now too, resolutely blocking his path. Taken by surprise, the giant answered with a deep growl. But the hobbit stood firm: "Shagrat, do listen to me, please..." The Uruk's growl became threatening: "Get out of my way, tiny thing, or you'll be sorry for that."

But instead of being frightened, Frodo suddenly got angry: "No way, nasty! I'm really sick of your fits at the slightest provocation. You want to have a friend? Then do something for it - if you don't mind - and learn the first rule of friendship right now. It says that friends do listen to each other! And if you got that, you might even start to listen right now! In case your question was meant serious. Otherwise it was definitely an orcish joke, and an incredibly good one too!" His blue eyes flashed with rage, completely putting Shagrat out. His honestly rueful expression made Frodo's anger subside immediately. "I didn't want to make you angry, little worm," the Uruk growled apologetically. Frodo quickly gave way: "I know, Shagrat. But you have asked me an important question which deserves a sincere answer. If you think we shall separate soon, we should talk about this now."

Still standing before Frodo, the Uruk shook his head with a grumble: "There's nothing left to talk about, little worm. I just told you that the Uruk-hai don't have any friends and that everybody hates them…" At this moment the hobbit took the giant's paw, looking up with a fixed gaze. "I do not hate you, Shagrat - I never did." The giant ground his teeth. "How can that be?" Frodo thought about it: "I was afraid of you, but this is something very different." Shagrat frowned. "What now? Are you not afraid of me anymore?" The hobbit sighed: "To tell you the truth: Sometimes you really frighten me! This exactly is the problem: Your rage is much too quick and violent. That is not encouraging for me at all. I am rather small and weak compared to you. Of course your rage initmidates me. Seeing what you're doing with trees and bushes, I'm always a bit afraid of you possibly treating me the same, you see?"

Shagrat snarled: "I'm only acting this way when I feel that pain - I just can't help it." The hobbit decidedly shook his head. "Shagrat, every creature knows mental pain, though you must not go and hit everything in your way whenever you feel like it. That just something you don't do, least of all to your friends. You do not frighten your friends, for they trust you. Not bad at all if you could learn to restrain yourself a little."

For a moment Shagrat said nothing, but then suddenly he groaned like Frodo never had heard him before: full of painful despair. The reflection of unspeakable anguish in the Uruk's face made the hobbit hold his breath. "Shagrat?" Their eyes met, and Frodo saw so horrible an agony that he felt it pierce his own heart.

The Uruk lowered his gaze and slowly began to speak: "I have tried to fight against this pain, again and again, but often it's stronger... it's so hard. It's the Black Power, Frodo, commanding me to torture and kill others. Any effort to refuse will hurt me. The pain is so enormous. It never really stops... I don't know if you understand. It's so strong a power… I'll never conquer it… I don't know how to explain..." He interrupted himself, but Frodo - his gaze infinitely gentle and pitiful - whispered soothingly: "It's alright, Shagrat, for I know exactly what you mean, since I know this power myself very well. You don't need to explain..."

At this moment also the hobbit felt icy claws grab at his heart. He started to tremble, and suddenly he found it hard to breathe. Downcast and desperate, he recognized that it could be too late for Shagrat, as it had been for Gollum as well. Would everyone - once touched by this evil power - be marked forever?

However, the dark moment passed when Shagrat's voice reached him again, suddenly not sounding so gloomy anymore: "Sometimes it's different though, little worm. It's not that bad then, and I feel better. Most of all when I look at you or hear you talking. Or when I watch you eat or sleep. That's why I just took it for a kind of wizardry... sounds strange to you, doesn't it?" Frodo tried to smile. "Feel free to call it wizardry - for this might be not so wrong at all - but they also call it pity. As long as there is pity, there is also friendship, and as long as there is friendship, there is hope as well. For you also, Shagrat." The giant grunted in confusion. "It sounds strange to me. Could you maybe explain it more easily?" Frodo's smile returned. "Yes, Shagrat, I can. It means that I would like to be your friend. How do you like that?"

Instead of an answer Shagrat seized the hobbit without a warning to lift him high above his head, and he began to shake him gently and playfully. First Frodo was not sure at all whether this was a good sign. However, looking down and noticing the awkward grin of the Uruk, he found this sight absurd, but not dangerous, so he could not help starting to giggle. "What are you doing?" he asked laughingly. Shagrat became serious and answered with deep conviction: "Come now, little worm! I'm doing exactly what you told me to do. You said if there is this other strange feeling, I should do what comes to my mind right then." This was too much for Frodo. He could not restrain himself any longer and burst into peals of laughter. Well, that's great, he thought, - so much for the awkward explanations of a hobbit and orcish dances of joy! However, he enjoyed this moment very much, finally having a good reason to laugh again. He laughed until his entire body was aching and his stomach was put to the test again, for Shagrat had not stopped shaking him after bursting into roaring laughter himself.

When Frodo found it was enough, he looked at Shagrat, pretending to be indignant. "Put me down again, will you? Otherwise I'll be getting sick, for you must know that halflings don't trust heights so much." Shagrat was still grinning playfully. "Well, I just don't want to." Frodo tried a little stricter: "Come on, Shagrat, it's enough! Don't go too far!" Right at this moment the hobbit perceived a sharply hissing noise in the air. Then he watched in shocked amazement as the Uruk's shoulder was pierced by an arrow...

*********** 


	3. Part 3

Frodo only heard the giant's angrily surprised roar before he was dropped, and he hit the ground so hard that he was utterly dazed for a moment. The hobbit could not think clearly, but he perceived some muffled voices from a distance, and he thought he recognized one of them. Legolas? Before he could find out for sure, he was brutally pulled up by his hair, which made him shriek with pain: "Shagrat! No!" The answer was such a threatening growl that Frodo's blood froze in his veins. "Filthy rat of a halfling! I always knew that you would betray me at the first opportunity." Frodo's heart missed a beat. "That's not true, and you know it!" he screamed in utmost panic. However, the Uruk pulled at him even stronger. "Shut up, whimpering maggot, or I shall tear off your head!" Frodo did not know what was worse at this moment: his fear of death or the shattering realization that everything had been in vain. Shagrat bent down to him, taking Frodo's head into one of his huge paws. He slowly bent it backwards to stare into the hobbit's fearfully widened eyes. This is what I like best, he thought with satisfaction. He wanted to feast on this fear…

At the same moment - on the other edge of the clearing - Aragorn gave the pressing order that no one would be allowed to shoot or even move. Only Legolas still had his bow readied. "I could hit his heart from here. Trust me!" Aragorn quickly put his hand on the Elf's arm. "No, Legolas. You can not kill an Uruk-hai that easily. It would take him only a split second to break Frodo's neck. We must not take the risk in any case." Reluctantly, the fair-haired Elf lowered his bow. His hatred for the Uruk was intense. If he dared to harm his friend, he would hunt this creature until the end of the world.

Aragorn desperately closed his eyes for a moment. He would never forgive himself if Frodo was killed now. Again he gazed hard across the clearing. Frodo seemed to be talking insistently to the Uruk. Nevertheless, Aragorn was not sure about it, for the distance was too great to see anything clearly. Legolas, whose Elvish eyes and ears were much better than his own, reported what he was able to pick up. Though even the Elf barely understood anything, since the hobbit was speaking in a very low and urgent voice. To the men it seemed as if the terrible monster had taken Frodo hostage, that being a rather unusual behaviour for an Uruk. The small group of Men and Elves had definitely expected him to attack them immediately. Now, however, they could only wait and see what would happen next. This helplessness meant enormous torment to Aragorn. He had never even dreamed of meeting Frodo and his abductor right here of all places. Actually he had been travelling on a quite different errand...

Shagrat still stared at the hobbit, growling dangerously. To his dismay Frodo realized that any wrong gesture would cost him his life now. Again he had to deal with a perilous beast, which would only begin to fight at the mere sight of the watchful warriors. The dark power had displaced every other feeling inside. Nevertheless, the hobbit desperately tried to convince the Uruk: "You must run away, Shagrat! Please, you must not fight!" he pleaded. The giant gave a horrible and gloomy laugh. "An Uruk-hai never runs away from a foe, stupid tiny thing." "But they will kill you, Shagrat." "I don't care, and you should care even less." Frodo was absolutely shattered. Had everything been just in vain? However, at least the Uruk was talking to him, therefore something made him hesitate. Frodo had only this one chance. His words had to get through to Shagrat now, or they would both die. 

He played his last trump, and his low voice was quavering: "Don't you understand? I don't want you to die. Remember, I'm your friend... you would make me very sad. Shagrat, I want you to live. Please, do it for me... you know I would never betray you. Look at me and listen to your heart..." Frodo fell silent, for every further word would be useless anyway. The Uruk bared his teeth, but still did not move. Obviously the hobbit had stirred up some doubt in him. Shagrat's glowing stare met Frodo's begging eyes, and time seemed to stretch endlessly.

Suddenly Shagrat roared deafeningly, rudely pushing the hobbit away. The next moment he had disappeared into the dense forest. At the same time loud voices were rising on the other end of the clearing. Frodo hectically struggled to sit up, trying to figure out where the Uruk had gone, but Shagrat had completely vanished. A gentle hand was placed on his shoulder, and he looked up in confusion. "Aragorn?" The king was kneeling before him, and his voice sounded concerned: "Are you wounded, Frodo?" "No, I am alright." Only then Aragorn dared to embrace his friend, full of relief, and Frodo clung to him with a sigh.

Aragorn's voice was slightly quavering: "I had already given up any hope of finding you alive..." Frodo nodded understandingly. Then he fearfully looked into the king's eyes. "Do you know anything about Sam?" Aragorn smiled, taking the hobbit's face in his hands. "Don't worry, he is well. He is at Rivendell, and Arwen has come to look after him. Merry and Pippin are also there, since he urgently needed some support from home. A hobbit should never be without another, this I have learned in the meantime." Frodo was fighting tears of relief. 

At the same moment, Legolas joined up with them. The Elf embraced Frodo warmly, smilingly kissing his forehead, but right away his gaze turned grave again. "I'm going to gather some men to follow the Uruk's traces." "No!" Frodo screamed, "you must not do that. It's not as you think. Shagrat saved me from Shelob and brought me here." Legolas blinked in confusion, and Aragorn's voice sounded astonished: "Frodo, you just escaped getting killed by this Uruk! I know what I have seen." The hobbit hectically shook his head. "He was just upset because he got wounded. Please, leave him alone! You must not do him harm." But the king went on emphatically: "Frodo, we just cannot allow an Uruk-hai to be haunting these woods. He is a dangerous and brutal beast, a servant of the Black Power. We must urgently make sure that he is incapacitated."

Irritated, the hobbit tore off a tuft of grass, vigorously jumping to his feet. "Damn, don't you listen to me at all?" His voice had become demanding, making Aragorn and Legolas exchange worried glances. "He is no ordinary Uruk-hai anymore, for he has changed. I know what I am talking about. If you set out to hunt him now, then everything has been in vain!" The king got a little stricter: "Just calm down, Frodo, for then you will see that I can make no other decision. As you have already remarked: The Uruk is wounded, and therefore he is even more unpredictable. He is a danger for everyone crossing his path. I am sorry if you don't understand it, but this is not your decision to make." Frodo's voice almost cracked: "I will not allow this! It means betrayal to me, for he does trust me. If you should kill him, I will never forgive you!" Wrath was in his eyes when he picked up a stone to hurl it against a nearby tree in fury.

"That will do, Frodo Baggins!" Aragorn had risen, and his strict voice had become so loud that Frodo could only stare at him in disbelief. "We have feared for your life for weeks, searching for you desperately. We were just on our way back to Rivendell to deliver the sad message of you probably not being alive anymore. There was every indication that we had lost you. Can you imagine how we felt? And then we find you right in the claws of an Uruk-hai. However, after having a narrow escape, you cannot think of anything else than this hideous beast. Oh, I'm sorry, Master Baggins, for I forgot that you have very briefly inquired for Sam at least. Nevertheless, you seem not to care at all how the others have fared in the meantime. Instead you're wasting your thoughts entirely on this Uruk, and by the way, you're acting like one yourself right now!"

The hobbit started at this words. Did he really behave like that? Frodo blushed in embarrassment, being only able to stammer: "I have... I just wanted to..." He burst into tears of dismay, making Aragorn kneel down before him to gently hold him at his shoulders. "I am sorry, Frodo, for I did not want to shout at you. You have just been through so much. Please, don't be angry with me." "No, Aragorn," Frodo sobbed, "you're right. Indeed I am behaving badly... it's just - I have fought for this Uruk so hard… it just cannot have been all in vain..." His voice sounded so shattered that Aragorn turned about to Legolas to seek help.

The Elf approached to stroke Frodo's head comfortingly. "What do you think we should do instead?" Frodo desperately shrugged, whispering in a begging tone: "I really don't know that myself, but please, do not kill him!" Aragorn sighed. "You know we cannot promise this..." The hobbit clasped the Elf's hand in an imploring gesture. "Legolas, do you believe there's a chance of an Elvish spark being left in an Uruk-hai?" Legolas silently looked at the hobbit for a while and then sadly shook his head. "No, Frodo. The fate of the orcs has been sealed many thousand years ago. There is nothing Elvish left in them, for it has been destroyed for a long time." Nevertheless, Frodo remained persistent: "What if you could regain this spark - even if it would take another thousand years - there must be a way, and this just could be a beginning..."

Aragorn placed his hand on the hobbit's shoulder. "Frodo, you're getting stuck on something. You might have been able to keep this Uruk busy for a while. Who else could have managed, for you own this gift. Nevertheless, you cannot tame him. He will always remain an Uruk - no matter how sad this might sound to you. You have just seen it yourself." Frodo defiantly pushed the king's hand off his shoulder. "You don't understand anything!" Aragorn frowned at the hobbit's behaviour, but kept calm. "Well then, Frodo, I don't have any time to discuss this matter any longer, for I have to make a decision that cannot wait. I'm responsible for the welfare of many. However, I suggest a compromise." The hobbit gave him a questioning gaze. Aragorn continued gravely: "In case you vouch for this Uruk-hai, I will not let him be chased. I will take your word then. So I ask you now, Frodo: Can you vouch for this Uruk not to attack anyone and that he also poses no danger at all?"

Frodo's lips twitched, and his eyes filled with tears again. He said nothing. Being no longer able to bear Aragorn's gaze, he downheartedly lowered his head. The king felt like being stabbed in his heart, but he couldn't spare Frodo this agony now. He wordlessly nodded to Legolas who - after a pitiful glance at Frodo - left to gather some Men and Elves, following him to take up the chase.

Aragorn faced the hobbit again. Frodo still held his head low, keeping silent. The king saw tears streaming down his cheeks. He was painfully touched by this sight, and most of all he wished to embrace the hobbit comfortingly. Instead of this he only said: "The remaining men will pitch a camp over there for tonight. Early in the morning we will set out to reach Rivendell tomorrow. If you get hungry or want to know what your friends have gone through in the meantime, just come to the fire later on. I will be there." With that he turned away to leave, not without biting his lip in despair. 

*********** 

Darkness had already fallen when Frodo quietly sat down by the fire beside Aragorn who had chosen a place at a distance from his men to wait for the hobbit. "Are you hungry, Frodo?" The hobbit silently nodded, avoiding Aragorn's eyes in embarrassment. Nevertheless, the king politely rose to serve his guest, patiently waiting for Frodo to satisfy his hunger. He would give him all time he needed. Finally Frodo dared to speak, his voice insecure and hoarse: "Now I would like to hear how you all have fared in the meantime." 

Lighting his pipe, Aragorn nodded and began to speak: "We must have found Sam only a short time after he had been left behind by the orcs. He could not exactly remember when this had happened, since he was very feverish and in an overall alarming state. I quickly sent some men to bring him to Rivendell. Besides I thought it best to send also Merry and Pippin with them, although they would have preferred trying to trace you, for they were suffering from fear and concern. I have already told you that Sam is well now. Now, this certainly wasn't a lie, but I still suspected that the fact of him believing you to be in Shelob's cave would considerably slow down his recovery. Therefore I sent a messenger to Arwen, and she hurried to Rivendell at once to look after your dear friend with her Elvish skill. Thanks to the Valar, Asfaloth truly is an almost flying horse, as you just know yourself. However, two days ago I got a message from Arwen that Sam is as well as can be expected under the circumstances."

Aragorn took a puff of his pipe, and Frodo listened to him attentively. "While I was looking after Sam to get him stabilized at least for the journey, Legolas and Gandalf gathered some more Elves to support us in search of you. We followed the abductors' traces up to Mirkwood, but there we had bad luck: we were attacked by a horde of orcs. We killed some and put the rest to flight, but unfortunately two Elves lost their lives in this fight." Frodo swallowed in distress. "Nevertheless, we were able to capture one of the orcs. When we questioned him, it turned out to be the horde which had carried you off.

The captured orc laughed maliciously when he heard of our search for you. Then he told us we would be too late, for his own leader - this traitor of an Uruk - had taken you from right under Shelob's sting in his greed. Actually he had just wanted you for himself all the time. Just this orc had clearly heard Shagrat telling you he would prefer to devour you himself." Frodo breathlessly nodded: "I see: You must have thought me dead then." Aragorn sighed: "Indeed, we were absolutely shattered, but still we managed to make our way to Shelob's cave. Gandalf used all his magic to find out something from Shelob. It was just eerie. He insisted on going into this cave all alone and didn't let us talk him out of it. Don't ask me how he did it, but the monster confirmed him this incident in the end.

Aragorn shook his head. "It was horrible for us, Frodo. Of course we tried to find Shagrat, but we were also aware that he would have cleared off quickly before being thrown into Shelob's web as a traitor by his own people. Besides he seems to have a talent for keeping vanished, for we could not find the slightest trace of him. Maybe he will succeed this time as well..."

The hobbit gave Aragorn a searching gaze, but the king went on at once: "After several days of fruitless searching we had no choice but turn back without hope. Only Gandalf wanted to return to Shelob's cave alone once more to - so he called it - try another dance with her, whatever he meant with that. You just know yourself how he always comes across as being so mysterious. The rest of us were on the way to Rivendell to deliver the terrible message of you probably..." He sighed again. "We would never have dreamed of this Uruk not eating you, but carrying you halfway home instead. Indeed, he must have carried you a long distance, hasn't he? A hobbit would hardly have made progress this quickly." Frodo sadly nodded, remembering Shagrat.

The king went on: "Gandalf will also join up with us at Rivendell soon. He said he wouldn't stay longer at Mirkwood than five days and then follow us. Anyway, today in the afternoon we reached this clearing, perceiving the Uruk shaking you powerfully - a very alarming sight - and we urgently wanted to divert him before he could do something worse to you... well, you know the rest. As far as I'm concerned, I 've already sent a messenger to Rivendell to announce our arrival tomorrow, and - above all - to report that you are safe now, being with us." Aragorn finished his report with a nod.

Frodo looked at the king as if to apologize, quietly saying: "I am sorry that you have been through so much on my account. Indeed, during the first days didn't expect to survive all this... it was very hard, very difficult for me, especially when we reached Shelob... but then everything changed..." His voice trailed off, and he seemed to struggle with his memories. Aragorn gently placed a hand on his arm. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Frodo." The hobbit gave him a melancholic gaze. "I know, Aragorn. You have only done what you had to do, and unfortunately you're right. Indeed, Shagrat is unpredictable. Though he often is quite different..." He let his head sink, obviously trying not to lose his composure. There he perceived Aragorn's gentle voice: "Would you like to talk about it?" Frodo looked up, nodding slowly. "I'd love to."

At this moment they were interrupted, as Legolas and the search party returned to the camp. Aragorn noticed the hobbit slightly trembling when he saw the Elf, who had separated from the group, approaching without hesitation now. "We didn't find a single trace. This Uruk seems to have disappeared completely. Now we've called off the search until tomorrow, since it would be too dangerous for the Men who cannot perceive things in the dark as good as Elves can. At daybreak we will set out anew and probably be away for some days then." The king nodded his agreement and quickly glanced at Frodo, who seemed to be surprisingly composed again.

Legolas addressed the hobbit now. "I understand your concern, Frodo, and I wish I would have to obey another order - one that does not torment one of my friends." He sadly shook his head. Frodo sympathetically nodded, saying: "I appreciate this, Legolas, but it simply cannot be helped for the time being. Besides I was just telling Aragorn about my experiences. Please, sit down and join us if you like. Perhaps this way you're going to understand a little better why I was so upset a while ago..." The Elf smilingly nodded, sitting down beside Aragorn to listen to the hobbit's report.

Indeed, Frodo urgently wished to share the multitude of his good and bad experiences with both his friends, since their joint hard struggle against an overpowering darkness had inseparably united them a long time ago. So he told them everything he could remember, maybe also for him to rethink it as well. However, with a sidelong glance at Legolas, he decided rather to skip the matter concerning the dwarf.

*********** 

When he had finished his story, Legolas gave him a sympathetic gaze. "This is an incredible story, Frodo, and it fills my heart with much joy and relief to see you in good health again, after we had already given up hope." The hobbit nodded seriously. "Do you understand now why I reacted so impulsively?" The Elf smiled compassionately. "I have always understood you, Frodo. I have seen the fear and concern in your eyes, and I have known your pitiful heart for a long time." Frodo gazed at him gratefully. He suddenly had the unerring feeling that Legolas would do everything to avoid wounding Shagrat or even worse, although he understood that the Elf could not guarantee that. They all knew exactly how an Uruk-hai would inexorably fight when surrounded by foes...

A little bit later Legolas rose and excused himself to join up with the other Elves, for he had read in Aragorn's eyes that the king wished to talk to Frodo alone once more. For a while silence reigned by the fire before the king quietly asked: "Do you think this occurrence will put our friendship to the test?" The hobbit reflected on the question for a moment and then slowly shook his head. "No, Aragorn, and I am sorry for what I've said a while ago. I hadn't considered how difficult the situation really is." Aragorn nodded und said: "I hope you understand my concern, but I only fear for your heart to get hurt once more, and this would mean pain also to me, for I believe that you are taking on more than you can handle with your sincere wish to help this Uruk. However, you cannot do more than you have already done, and I think you know that yourself." He fell silent for a moment, gazing at the hobbit who had bowed his head again.

"Frodo, you finally must come to rest after all what destiny has demanded of you. You have experienced harder privations than any other of us. You have accomplished the unimaginable against all hopelessness and despair. Time may pass quickly, yet it was not long ago that you have fulfilled a nearly unrealizable task which nobody but you could have mastered. Who could ask for more of you?" Frodo's shoulders cramped. Barely audible, he whispered: "I have not fulfilled it, and you know it." Aragorn took a deep breath. "I understand," he seriously said, "you think you have failed at Mount Doom. Probably you also think you have failed concerning Gollum. And now you desperately try to compensate for your supposed failure by looking after Shagrat. Am I right with that?"

Frodo was trembling again, and his shoulders were shaking. Aragorn had risen to sit down closer to the hobbit. He gently took him in his arms, and Frodo hid his face on the king's shoulder, weeping. "I should have followed Gandalf's advice", he whispered in tears. "He had urgently warned me against ever using the ring. He was right, and if I had listened to him, Gollum would still be alive maybe and..." He sobbed, and Aragorn replied softly, but strongly: "What are you trying to justify, Frodo Baggins? That you are not perfect? That you have yielded to weakness in the face of an overpowering threat? What do you demand of yourself? How can you ever be so mercilessly harsh with yourself?"

He sighed, and the hobbit looked at him, seeking advice. "Frodo, you must not be so unjust towards yourself, for it would ruin you in the end. It is time to get rid of the burden. You cannot take responsibility for everything, for destiny follows its own way, and we cannot force our will upon it." Frodo sadly looked at the ground, and the king continued: "You have done everything you could for Shagrat, and this is truly wonderful. Nevertheless, you must let go of this Uruk to let him find his own way, even if he is homeless now. You must look at what lies ahead of you. Sam needs you, Frodo. He had to endure terrible pain and fear. The long uncertainty of your fate nearly broke him. You have to decide now where you really belong and where your home is."

Frodo looked thoughtfully at the king for a long time, but then slowly nodded. "I'm sure you're right, Aragorn. However, it's not easy for me, and I will have to reflect on many things you have told me. For now just know this: Never before I have felt more clearly how infinitely precious your friendship is to me." Aragorn mildly smiled, stroking the hobbit's cheek gently. "Try to catch some sleep now, Frodo, for we will set out early in the morning." With this he rose to leave Frodo to his own thoughts and to hopefully relieving sleep. Indeed, the hobbit soon let himself be wrapped up by a warm emotion. It felt like security, for he was aware that he was surrounded by friends which would always protect and understand him. Slowly he slipped into a gentle dream, seeing Sam in the garden of Bag End...

*********** 

At dawn the king approached to Legolas who just wanted to set out to a new search for the Uruk with the other Elves. They had decided that now only the Elves would carry on. Aragorn's men would accompany him to Rivendell and return to Gondor later on, since the king did not intend to stay much longer in these lands. Duty would soon claim him. "If you ask me, Legolas, I would prefer never to see or hear anything of Shagrat again. I believe this would be the best for all, in any case better than maybe having to bring Frodo bad news." The Elf nodded his agreement. "You're right, Aragorn, for I don't want Frodo to suffer either, and I will do everything I can not to let it come to this. Nevertheless, we all have our own experiences in fighting this race. Uncertainty can be even more torturing when somebody takes great interest in the fate of another person." He shrugged with a sigh. Aragorn nodded at him once more. "We will meet again at Rivendell some days from now. Good luck, my friend!"

When the Elves had dissappeared into the forest, Aragorn returned to the camp to wake Frodo, and after a short breakfast they set out. The men had horses, and therefore they would reach Rivendell within a few hours. Aragorn took Frodo before him on his horse Hasufel. They rode at a fast pace, taking into account that the Uruk might lie in wait somewhere beside the path.

The sun already tilted into the afternoon when they reached the last part of the path, leading them straight down into the picturesque vale. Suddenly the men caught sight of two small figures coming round the next bend in the distance. They seemed to run after they had discerned the group, since they were approaching quickly now. "Aragorn, there are Merry and Pippin! Please, put me down quickly!" Frodo excitedly exclaimed. With a smile the king did him the favour. Unstoppable now, Frodo ran towards the two hobbits. Aragorn thoughtfully smiled by hearing his little friends yell in happiness and watching Pippin lift Frodo to wildly whirl him around. Merry and Pippin could not stop hugging their cousin and happily tousling his hair. Frodo laughingly endured it. At this moment of pure happiness he had forgotten anything else.

Merry blurted out: "This is a complete disaster, for Sam really wanted to come with us, heading for you. However, he hadn't reckoned with beautiful Arwen's strictness. She simply didn't give in to him, for in her opinion he has to save his strength for some more days. Indeed, he has been rather sick, but now he's better again, you'll see..." Frodo beamed all over his face at the sound of his dearest friends' voices which he had been missing for so long. Pippin also started to babble: "Still you're looking surprisingly good, considering you've almost been devoured...," which earned him a poke from Merry. "What have I been up to again?!" Merry rolled his eyes, but Frodo burst into laughter. How much he had missed that!

Merry and Pippin were pestering him with questions so eagerly, that he - with a smile - let them talk him into walking the rest of the way with them. In fact it suited him fine. Although he could hardly wait to take Sam in his arms again, he still wanted to prepare a little for this moment. Being convinced that the path was well watched by Elvish eyes and therefore not dangerous, Aragorn agreed on riding ahead with his men and leaving the hobbits to their vivid conversation.

The three of them were so absorbed in their talk that they barely became aware of their own arrival at Rivendell, almost not noticing some Elves on their way, who friendly nodded at them. Frodo was just laughing about a joke from the Shire told by Merry, when he beheld Sam and Arwen looking at the arrivals from a distance. Frodo needed a little moment to grasp this sight, but - becoming aware of Arwen's loving smile - he was released from his breathless paralysis and started to run. However, he stopped some steps short of Sam, noticing that his friend was standing on seemingly shaky legs. "Mr. Frodo," was all Sam could stammer at this moment, not even managing a smile. Big tears were rolling down his cheeks. Frodo was so touched by this sight that his eyes turned moist as well. He embraced his beloved friend so cautiously as if he was afraid of breaking him, and Sam clutched him as if he never wanted to let go of him again. Both were much too moved to speak, only Frodo whispered, barely audible: "Sam, my wonderful Sam..."

Arwen, Merry and Pippin silently retreated to give their friends some privacy at this special moment. Frodo silently wept, and Sam sobbed noisily at his shoulder. They were standing there for long, until Frodo carefully took his friend's hand to lead him to a bench under shady trees. They sat down, and Sam still could only stare at Frodo speechlessly, as if not believing that his master had truly returned from the bottomless depths of darkness. Frodo lovingly smiled at him, again and again gently stroking Sam's face to wipe away the tears. "It's alright, Sam, I'm back now..." he whispered in a calming tone. 

Sam looked at him, finally regaining his speech. "Frodo... Mr. Frodo... I could hardly believe it when the messenger came to Rivendell this morning... and what he said... I am so happy, but you must never frighten me so terribly again." "I will try not to, Sam," Frodo replied softly, "but now tell me how you are doing. You had been so ill when we left you, and I was so terribly worried about you." Immediately Sam started to protest: "You have suffered much worse! They dragged you right to the jaws of this monster…," - another tear ran down his cheek - "and, Mr. Frodo, sometimes I dreamt of a messenger bringing terrible news… and then indeed one came this morning, and..." He sobbed, recalling the shock this sight had caused, and Frodo could not help being moved, for he knew how close Sam had come to the possible truth. A quite different message could have reached Rivendell. But this was not important at all anymore, he quickly decided.

Yet something seemed to be wrong with Sam. Frodo took Sam's hands into his own, giving him a searching gaze. He said encouragingly: "Come on now, Sam, at least give me a little smile to let me see that you're truly happy to have me with you again." But instead Sam only lowered his gaze in embarrassment. "What is it, Sam?" Frodo demanded with a touch of concern in his voice. Sam blushed and stammered: "It wasn't right... and so terrible... I mean, I couldn't protect you and simply left you alone… so utterly alone with all these horrible monsters..." "Sam, what are you talking about?" Frodo was stunned. "How can you say anything like that?" Sam did not let himself be put off. "But it's true - without me you wouldn't have gotten into all this trouble to begin with. It is my fault. I endangered you..." Dismay was reflected on Frodo's face. "Sam, I don't understand! Surely you don't think I would blame you!" "No, Mr. Frodo", Sam hastily said, "you would never do anything like that, but I blame myself for, because..." 

"Sam!" Frodo had jumped up. "You must not say or even think anything like that! That's just crazy!" Sam looked at him uncertainly. Frodo sat down again, grabbing his friend's hands and looking at him with a fixed gaze. "Now listen to me, Sam! I don't want to hear anything like that ever again! How can you just think of being responsible for that?! That's simply not true, Sam!" He shook his head, still being stunned. "Must I remind you of what would have happened if you had not stopped Shelob back then? Have you forgotten about that? Therefore don't ever talk such nonsense again!" Sam stared at the ground, contritely muttering: "That was rather stupid, wasn't it? It's just - all the time not knowing if you were still alive... it was just so unbearable for me, and so I began to wonder… if you know what I mean..." Frodo sighed. "I know what you mean. This time of uncertainty was tormenting for me as well. Just that's why I would very much like to see you smile again. Come on, Sam!" Finally Sam did him the favour, and Frodo tousled his hair in a friendly manner. "There you are! I like this much more." 

At this moment Aragorn approached, pretending to deliver a message of tremendous importance. "My lords, the Elves of Rivendell send me as a messenger to let you know they wish to give a feast in honour of the return of Master Baggins. One hour from now you will be awaited for an extremely opulent feast - even for hobbits." Frodo blushed a little, as always when he thought he was given too much attention. Still he answered politely: "Thank you, Aragorn, this is a great honour for me." 

Later in the evening the Men, hobbits and Elves were listening to Frodo's narration in breathless anticipation. This time he kept his report somewhat brief. He was still exhausted due to the strain he had suffered during the last weeks. Most of all he longed for a soft and warm featherbed now, and no-one could hold his early departure against him. Besides Sam - still carefully nursed by Arwen - was not allowed to stay up that long yet. Frodo accompanied his friend to his chamber, for Sam had been put into another part of the house until he would be fully recovered. "Good night, Sam. I am looking forward to tomorrow. We will have much time to talk then." "Good night, Mr. Frodo, but first you must get a good night's sleep!" "Don't worry, Sam, I will..." Frodo waved him goodbye and strolled past fragrant bushes to his room. He already felt the salutary atmosphere of this Elvish home cover his soul, making him sigh in relief.

Frodo fell into deep and dreamless sleep at once, and so he did not notice that the door to his room quietly opened in the middle of the night. Sam cautiously tiptoed into the chamber. He insisted on sitting down on a comfortable chair by the window to watch over his master's sleep.

*********** 

The hobbits spent the following two days together in a brilliant mood, and far from home they had to tell each other so much that time went by very quickly. Aragorn and Arwen often joined them, and especially the king enjoyed being with his little friends from the Shire again, for since they had fulfilled their joint hard mission, everyone of them had followed his own way into a new life at last.

Sometimes Sam and Aragorn exchanged worried glances, noticing that Frodo seemed to be torn between brooding and restlessness from time to time. However, they thought it best not to address him about it. Often Frodo let his gaze wander into the distance as if waiting for something to appear on the horizon.

Sam had fully recovered within this short period. The fact that he was reunited with Frodo had put an end to his illness at lightning speed. Arwen was more than pleased with her little charge now, for it had not been long ago that the seriously ill hobbit had put all Rivendell into concern and excitement. Only sometimes a pained expression appeared on Sam's face when he heard Frodo talking about his experiences. Concerning Shagrat, he obviously had his own opinion, which no-one could just blame him for. However, Frodo did not seem to notice it at all.

Finally the king proclaimed that he would ride out to intercept Gandalf and personally deliver the glad tidings of Frodo's rescue. Aragorn had his own reasons for this decision, for he wanted to seize the opportunity to inform the wizard of his worries concerning Frodo's behaviour. The hobbit's restlessness would probably only ease off after he had been informed about Shagrat's lot.

Aragorn had been on his way not longer than half a day when he perceived the cheerful neigh of Shadowfax, for the wizard's horse had already scented him. Both men greeted each other warmly and dismounted to enjoy a good pipe first. Then the king reported what had happened since their separation, only very briefly mentioning Frodo's experiences. Of course he wanted to leave it to the hobbit to tell his dear friend all the details. Instead he talked of his own conversations with Frodo, not being able to avoid a tense expression.

Gandalf nodded understandingly, but finally smiled. "My dear Aragorn, from time to time you still seem to underrate the Hobbits. I understand your concern, but Frodo is strong, and he will cope with his worries, no matter how things will turn out. Concerning the wounds of his soul, I think it will take some time till they are cured. Some of them he will bear forever, that is true. Nevertheless, it was his own decision not to go to the West and rather to endure these injuries. So he will have to learn how to live with them, and I think he knows what he is doing. He is a very wise creature, Aragorn, and you should trust him a little more..."

Aragorn smiled. "Thanks for the lecture, my dear wizard, but it must have been my love for this unbelievable hobbit, that expresses itself in my deeply felt concern." "Oh no," Gandalf replied, "you don't have to justify it! Who could understand your feelings better than me? I have also worried about Frodo's welfare many times. Still we have to trust in destiny, yet never meddle too much with its ways." Aragorn nodded his agreement. Then he gave the wizard a questioning gaze. "Tell me, Gandalf, what has actually happened to Shelob?" Suddenly Gandalf smiled mischievously, taking another puff of his pipe. "Well, my dear Aragorn, let me express it as follows: I have sung her a sweet lullaby. She will not trouble us anymore, at least not for the next one hundred years." The king knew that Gandalf would not lose any further word about it, and so he left it at that. The wizard would always have his secrets, lying beyond the skills of his friends. The men mounted their fast horses again to finally hurry to Rivendell where they would already be eagerly awaited. Soon they had reached their destination.

Gandalf gave Frodo a long and warm embrace, yet he could not completely conceal that only a short time ago an immense despair had left him. "My dear Frodo, seldom before I felt a greater pleasure than on this day, seeing you safe and sound again." Frodo also was overjoyed. "It's wonderful to see you, Gandalf, for I have badly missed your wise advice for much too long." After that the wizard also greeted the other hobbits with a friendly embrace. Besides he lightly pinched Pippin's cheek, making the surprised hobbit ask in bewilderment if he had just done anything wrong again. "No, my dear Peregrin," Gandalf replied with mock strictness, "this was just meant as a precaution..." Pippin looked tormented, but the bystanders could not help but smile. 

After the evening meal Gandalf and Frodo retreated to talk calmly about the latest events. Frodo trustingly told the wizard about everything that had happened to him in the meantime, and towards Gandalf he did not leave out the incident with the dwarf. The wizard silently listened to Frodo's report, only nodding thoughtfully from time to time. Finally the hobbit finished, expectantly gazing at the wizard. "Well, my dear Hobbit," Gandalf replied at last, "this is something only you could have done. Indeed I have never heard of such an occurrence before, Frodo. To talk to an Uruk as if he were a normal creature and even to elicit sense and sensibility from him - this just means a small miracle." He nodded respectfully and patted Frodo's shoulder in acknowledgment.

Then suddenly the hobbit gave him a pained look. "Gandalf, I'm worried about Shagrat, and it almost strikes me as betrayal that I can't do anything to help him. Instead I'm tremblingly waiting for Legolas to return with tidings of Shagrat's death." He downheartedly let his head sink. "I see, Frodo", the wizard replied sympathetically, "and of course you must reckon with this possibility. Still - if you ask me - maybe it's a good sign that he has not been found yet. And who knows which powers are pulling the strings to let him remain hidden until this very day. Life is full of mysteries and secrets, and no one can foresee what will come to pass. You find friends, and sometimes you lose them again, Frodo. Whatever is going to happen, you will have to face it and cope with it, and this is everything you can do, my dear boy."

Frodo sighed, since he knew that the wizard could not give him any other advice. Then suddenly another thought flashed through his mind: "Aragorn told me what you have said about Shelob. Does this mean she is still alive?" Gandalf nodded. "Yes, that's true, Frodo. She is in the best of health and has only become a little more peaceful, in which I had a little part." The hobbit gave him a questioning gaze. "Why have you not killed her? It surely was within your power, wasn't it?" The wizard searchingly looked at him. "It's not a question of it being or not being within my power. Why should I have done this, Frodo? Well, I know that Shelob will always be a terrible memory to you and Sam. Still I would be acting against the order of the Valar. Shelob is an ancient creature. It's true that she is malicious, but she has never threatened the fate of Middle-earth wilfully. Dwelling in this cave, she's only lying in wait for her prey, like every other predator would do - just apart from the fact that she has recently used very unique methods to get hold of her victims."

Frodo frowned and sceptically gazed at the wizard for a moment. Indeed, sometimes it was not easy for him to understand Gandalf. After a pause the wizard continued: "However, there is no reason to kill her apart from a personal desire for revenge. Would you like to take revenge on her, Frodo?" The hobbit gave a start. Never before he had pondered that possibility. Then he slowly shook his head. "No, Gandalf, I don't think so. However, it truly puts my mind at rest to know she won't mean a threat anymore for the moment or even for the next hundred years." Lost in thought, Gandalf smiled, obviously pleased with Frodo's reply. Suddenly the hobbit had the unerring feeling of having been put to the test once more. "Now off to bed with you, Frodo, before Sam starts worrying about you not getting enough sleep!" Gandalf left him with a smile.

*********** 


	4. Part 4

The next morning the four hobbits were sitting together for breakfast and began to talk about how long they would stay at Rivendell, when suddenly Frodo's throat contracted with fear. Pale and trembling, he rose from his seat. The others anxiously stared at him, but following his gaze, they recognized Legolas at a distance, returning with the other Elves. "Keep calm, Frodo!" Merry casually said, but Frodo did not hear him and continued to stand there paralysed, until Legolas saw the hobbits and rushed towards them. The Elf first greeted Merry, Pippin and Sam, which he had not seen for a long time, and then turned to Frodo, who stared at him with widened eyes. "It's terrible that I have to keep you guessing, but we did not spot the slightest trace of Shagrat and have called off the search now. He cannot be in this region anymore, otherwise we would have come across him long ago. I am sorry, Frodo." Frodo did not answer. He only managed a hint of a nod, but the next moment he turned away in distress and simply left the others alone. Legolas and the hobbits gazed after him helplessly. Only Sam murmured: "I don't like that at all, if you ask me..."

Of course Sam was still worried about his master's shaken condition, and when he later on could not find him in his room, he became restless and began to look for him. First he could not spot him anywhere, and he blamed himself for not having followed him immediately. After another hour of fruitless searching he peered into Frodo's chamber, just to find his master sitting on his bed as if he had never been away. 

"Oh, am I so glad, Mr. Frodo, to have found you here at last!" Frodo did not look at him, and his voice sounded tired. "I was just out for a walk, Sam." Sam approached cautiously. "I am worried about you, Frodo! You rather frightened me when you went away without saying a word." Frodo sighed: "It's alright, Sam, I just wanted to think about something, and you needn't be worried at all." Still Sam was not pleased. "Nevertheless, you didn't look well a while ago, and to tell you the truth: It's not much better now..." 

"Damn, Sam, leave me alone!" Frodo suddenly hissed in a fury. He had jumped up and was staring at Sam so viciously as if he hated him. Sam was so shaken at this sight that he clasped the backrest of a chair not to lose his foothold. But the moment passed as quickly as it had come, and when Frodo became aware of his friend's dismayed expression, he abruptly came to his senses, stammering: "Sam, what... what have I said... oh Sam, I am so sorry, it was unintentional..." Distressed and weak, he collapsed on his bed, hiding his face in his hands.

Released from his paralysis, Sam rushed to his master. He sat down beside him on the bed, took him in his arms and whispered in a calming tone: "Never mind, Frodo, it doesn't matter, it will be alright..." But when Frodo slowly raised his head, he looked infinitely sad, and his voice sounded pleading: "I want to go home, Sam, please, I just want to go back home." Sam nodded and rose determinedly. "You're right, Mr. Frodo. See, I am just well again. I'm going to pack our things at once, and in one hour we will be ready to set out." Frodo also rose now, friendly placing his hand on Sam's shoulder, for he suddenly had to smile about his eagerness. "Tomorrow, Sam... tomorrow will be early enough. Let's depart tomorrow." "Of course, Mr. Frodo, just as you like." "Well, Sam, then I'm going to let you pack up at your leisure. I will go and see Legolas once more, since I just haven't been very polite earlier on." With that he left his friend.

When Frodo had gone, Sam suddenly found himself trembling, and he sat down for a moment to regain his composure. Yet he knew what he had read in his friend's face. He remembered this expression, since he had seen Frodo like that once before, in Mordor in those days... Sam shuddered with horror. "What am I supposed to do?" he murmured to himself, "I just can't stand by and watch him suffering like that any longer. It's so terrible, as if he was still carrying that horrible thing. Think, Samwise Gamgee, you have to come up with something..."

A knock at the door made him start. It was Gandalf who had come to talk with Frodo. "Oh, Mr. Gandalf, I am sorry, for Frodo is not here. He wanted to go to see Legolas, because..." "I see," the wizard interrupted him, "for that is why I'm here. Well, I suppose Frodo doesn't need me at the moment, but thanks for the information anyway, Samwise." He already turned to leave, but something in Sam's eyes made him hesitate. "Is everything alright, Sam?" he asked worriedly and finally entered the chamber to sit down. Sam blushed a little, stammering: "Oh…Gandalf... nothing is alright.", and then he told the wizard what had happened.

Gandalf nodded understandingly and sighed. Finally he took Sam's hand, friendly looking into his eyes. "I understand that you are rather concerned, Sam. Yet maybe this is not necessary at all, although I know that you will always worry about your master, and this is what makes you so honourable, my dear Samwise." Sam stared at the ground in embarrassment. "It's you who supports Frodo most, and I think this is precisely what he needs now. With you taking charge of him he will be quite himself again soon. Just give him some time." Sam was uneasily shifting on his chair and finally looked at the wizard respectfully. "Well, that's it, Mr. Gandalf! I find Frodo is not at all like he used to be. He has never brooded this much before, and he also laughs much too rarely, if you know what I mean."

Pressing Sam's hand, Gandalf replied sincerely: "Well, Sam, all of us are changed by our experiences, and no one stays the same. This is just the way of the world. Frodo has made a sacrifice for Middle-earth which truly demanded everything of him. He had to give up so much for it. Besides I cannot play down the fact that Frodo's whole self was shattered at Mount Doom when in the end he was not able to withstand Sauron's dark power any longer. I suppose the memory of it will always be haunting him. Still you, Sam, can help him to feel there are some things that will never change, such as your love and loyalty to him and also the newly awakened loveliness of the Shire. Show him, Samwise, so that he may finally see how much he has protected from its downfall. Even if some of his wounds might never heal and pain might be his constant companion now, there is still hope that one day he will enjoy a happy and pleasant life again. Don't you think so?"

Sam eagerly nodded. "You can count on me, Gandalf. I will not leave his side. And I will never stop loving and protecting him." The wizard kindly smiled. "This I know, Sam, and if there was no loyalty in this world, you would surely invent it. I am immensely pleased to know Frodo in your devotedly caring hands." He stroked the hobbit's cheek lovingly. Then he rose, saying: "I am glad your way is going to lead you back to the Shire now, for only there Frodo can settle down again and get his mind on to other things. Besides it will do him good to have your Rosie and little Elanor around him. But now, my dear Samwise, don't let me keep you, for if you are going to set out tomorrow, you surely have a lot of things to do yet." The wizard nodded to Sam once more and finally left.

*********** 

All his life Frodo had not gotten used to getting up early, which was impossible for most hobbits. Only breakfast hunger could drive them out of bed in good time. Frodo liked to skip the first meal of the day to have rather a little more time left for dreaming. However, for second breakfast Bilbo had always shaken him out of sleep with gentle insistence, for in his uncle's opinion Frodo had always been much too thin for a hobbit anyway. So Sam did not have the heart to wake his master earlier on this last morning at Rivendell, since he was more than glad of Frodo sleeping so peacefully. Of course Sam had frequently peered into his chamber during the night, full of concern as always.

Therefore the others had already finished their meal and were now loading the packhorses, while Frodo was still sitting at the breakfast table with Gandalf keeping him company. Frodo was eating with much appetite, which Gandalf took note of with relief. The Elvish domicile truly seemed to do him good in this respect. Gandalf looked at him thoughtfully and then said: "Well, Frodo, here we go again. Everyone is going his own ways. Legolas left a while ago to finally follow an invitation of our dwarf-friend Gimli. I for my part will not accompany you on your way to the Shire either, for there are other duties claiming me." Frodo nodded understandingly. "I know, Gandalf, you've always been like that: always restless and on the way to more or less secret destinations which you persistently remain silent about." The wizard smiled. "Well, Frodo, peace needs to be preserved, and this does not necessarily happen by itself. But you're right: it is simply not in my nature to stay in one place for long, otherwise I would have become a hobbit."

"Sho you musht really come and vishit me shoon," Frodo mumbled with his mouth full, while already grabbing another piece of bread. Gandalf amusedly watched him and began to muse aloud: "Well, my dear hobbit, I do think it's high time for you to get home again before you get used to even more orcish manners!" Frodo almost swallowed the wrong way, and his face turned red with shame. He pushed away his plate in dismay, which made the wizard burst into good-natured laughter. Frodo gave him a pained look, for he felt extremely awkward about this incident. He almost wished to become invisible once more. Grinning quietly to himself, Gandalf said: "Indeed, Frodo, ancient wisdom says that influence never occurs one-sidedly." "But that's awful!" Frodo whispered, and his eyes widened in shock. Gandalf was still chuckling. "My dear Frodo, I'm sorry, for I truly did not want to spoil your appetite, which you have just exhibited so nicely." Frodo desperately exclaimed: "Will you stop that now?!" - but now he had to laugh as well - "By the Valar, you can be awful indeed!" Gandalf gave him a friendly pat on the back. "Don't worry, in Sam's and Rosie's care, you will soon become a pure hobbit again.

Frodo smiled in relief, but suddenly he seriously looked at Gandalf, thinking of something different: "Will Shagrat be a pure Uruk-hai again as well, now that he isn't with me any longer?" Gandalf sighed. "This I don't know, Frodo. Nobody is capable to tell exactly what such a creature might be up to." Frodo sadly nodded, and Gandalf passed his hand over the hobbit's head. "Frodo, you know that I never expected you to follow my advice, but in case I might still give you one, it's this: don't reflect too much on this matter, for it's not lying in your hands anymore. You have done what you could, and you must let go of this Uruk now." Frodo listened to the wizard attentively. " For the time being, fate has decided the separation of your ways, and you will certainly have to fulfil other duties now. You should try to simply go on with your own life as well as you can. The Shire is awaiting you." Frodo pressed the wizard's hand. "You are right, Gandalf, and I will try to do what you recommend. I only wish...," but then he interrupted himself, leaving the rest of the sentence unsaid, and seemed to be lost in thought again. 

The wizard searchingly gazed at him, though he did not show his concern. He of all could understand best what Frodo felt, since he knew his capability to feel deep pity for maltreated creatures. The hobbit himself had experienced with body and soul what it meant to be deformed and ruined by enormous dark powers. Gandalf loved Frodo for this pity, and he felt even more sorry for not being able to help him now. He gently placed his hand on Frodo's arm. "It's time to leave." Frodo nodded and rose together with the wizard, and they went to meet the rest of the fellowship at the archway.

Gandalf kneeled down before the hobbit and looked at him with a fixed gaze. "I will come and see you in the Shire as soon as possible." "Thanks for your friendship, Gandalf," Frodo replied with a smile and embraced the wizard warmly. Meanwhile the accompanying Elves and hobbits as well as Aragorn had approached, and Aragorn beckoned Frodo to come over, while Gandalf lovingly ran his hand through the other hobbits' curly hair. The three of them said goodbye respectfully, apart from Pippin who exclaimed: "Make sure you do not wait too long to remember the Shire!", earning him a mock indignant gaze of the wizard. Then Arwen came to kiss each hobbit on his forehead. Aragorn lifted Frodo onto his horse, while Merry, Pippin and Sam were lifted up to the steeds of the Elves. "I will be back soon, my love," Aragorn said, and Arwen nodded with a smile. The king's men would stay at Rivendell with her to wait for his hasty return. The small company of travellers set out and soon had disappeared from sight behind the next bent.

The way back to the Shire took its course without a hitch. Indeed, times had become much more peaceful after Sauron's downfall. Their previous concern about malicious orcs eventually haunting the region, was soon dispelled, for no traces of such ruffians were to be seen. However, the Elves had not yet discovered the lonely wandering Uruk-hai. Aragorn preferred to assume that he perhaps had withdrawn to Mirkwood instead of lurking nearby, although from now on he would let the borders of the Shire be watched by Rangers more strictly again, at least for the near future. The peril for the hobbits was not warded off yet. First they had to be sure that the remaining orcs had hidden in the depths of Mirkwood without causing damage, since Aragorn did not want them to be hunted or killed without reason. He had to smile about this consideration, for obviously Frodo had sown such a mild idea in his mind unnoticed. If only the hobbit could forget this terrible Uruk-hai for a while! Aragorn urgently hoped that Frodo would not be overwhelmed by melancholy again like in those days after he had sealed Sauron's lot without having any triumphant emotion about it. 

Finally the hobbits - safe and sound - were set down in front of the door of Bag End, and an overjoyed Rosie could embrace her Sam again at last. Little Elanor squeaked joyfully when she caught sight of the beautiful Elves. They all were in high spirits, since the torturing period of uncertainty was over. Nevertheless, Aragorn and the Elves wanted to depart soon again to return to Rivendell, and besides it was high time for the king to go back to Gondor. Elanor was very sad because of that, and so Aragorn allowed himself and his company to be served by Rosie and Sam generously once more before they would move on. Time passed away much too fast. When they finally said goodbye to each other, Frodo went up to Aragorn once more and said: "Thanks for your concern about me. I appreciate this very much." Aragorn gently smiled and embraced the hobbit lovingly. "I'm sure you will do the right thing, dear friend." After that the king took Sam aside. "Take good care of him, Samwise Gamgee!" Sam seriously nodded. "I will keep my eyes on him." The king and the Elves rode away at fast pace, not only to make up leeway, but to rather unwillingly escape the hobbit's hospitality, since they all would have liked to spend more time with these friendly and warm-hearted creatures.

*********** 

Happy times were dawning now, for indeed a peaceful and tranquil life had arrived at Bag End. Sam could not get enough of his family which he had missed for so long, and Frodo continued to write the chronicles of the Shire, spending countless hours in his study. Merry and Pippin often visited them, and each time they were only unwillingly let go again, especially by Elanor. So everyone of them was occupied with his own things, and thus several months passed by without any remarkable occurrences, as it was just typical of the Shire. The seasons changed, and after a mild winter a wonderful spring arrived, richly blossoming and almost summery-warm. The month of Thrimidge had just begun, and Summer was near indeed.

Frodo loved sitting on the bench in front of the house, drinking tea and reading, though he was barely aware of the sunbeams that sneaked into his wounded soul like a balm. He only felt that he was quite happy and contented again after a long time, except for occasional nightmares. He had even noticed in astonishment that often he would not think of Shagrat, Shelob, Sauron or Gollum over a period of several days. In fact he was glad about this. Some day in these peaceful time he must have made up his mind that it would be better this way. When he was honest with himself, he had to admit that he - being a hobbit - had other goals in life than to always match himself with dark powers. Anyway, it was hard enough to frequently refer to dark times while writing the chronicles. However, Frodo loved his life again, and Sam was the only one who sometimes noticed the shadows which crept into Frodo's soul from time to time. 

However, one day Frodo was seized by wanderlust when the sun slowly tilted into the afternoon. He quickly fetched his backpack, filled it with some food, grabbed his book and marched off, up the slope. "I'll be back in a few hours, Sam, before it's getting dark, I promise." Sam, who was working in the garden, gazed after him smilingly, for lately he had worried much less about his master and friend, who had even begun to hum Uncle Bilbo's songs again, which was a good sign in any case.

Frodo walked over the hill to a small wood and soon reached the small clearing which he had already loved as a child. He had often retreated here, when the other children from Hobbiton were teasing him on account of his birth, most of all his cousin Lotho Sackville-Baggins. They had often called him a half-breed of a Brandybuck, who would never be a genuine Baggins. Indeed Frodo had had a rough time when his uncle Bilbo had taken him in as an orphan, after Frodo's parents had drowned on the Brandywine. But that was long past. Meanwhile Lotho had died, and Frodo had reconciled with his aunt Lobelia after the turmoil of the War of the Ring, since she had finally returned Bag End to him as a token of her regret. 

He let go of his memories and sat down under a tree to regain some strength. After a few bites of Rosie's delicious bread, he became engrossed in his book again. The sun warmed him, and the chirping of birds as well as the humming of bees and beetles bespoke so much peace at the clearing that Frodo soon stretched out relaxingly to have a cosy nap. Soon he had fallen into a deep sleep. 

Then the sun darkened and wholly disappeared in the end. Suddenly deep night was all around him, and it was filled with an awful growl and rumble. Frodo could not move anymore, for a dark force pressed him to the ground unyieldingly. Then he saw him: the huge Uruk-hai who was slowly coming towards him, baring his terrifying teeth. His growl became more and more threatening. Slowly the monster bent down to him. The hobbit felt black claws grab him to tear out his heart...

No!!! Frodo woke with a start, panting and squinting at the sun in dismay. Sighing in relief, he tried to get rid of the nightmare quickly. But he did not really succeed and needed a moment to realize that the threatening growl was still there, reaching his ears from the thicket behind him...

Frodo felt his mouth become dry and his heart beat faster. His limbs were paralyzed with horror. The growl became louder and sharper, but it did not seem to come closer for the time being. The hobbit closed his eyes in despair to suppress his panic. What would he behold if he turned around? With an enormous effort he finally rose tremblingly and turned.

First he could not discover anything but dense flowering bushes. But the hideous sound seemed to come right from their center. Frodo swallowed, pained. Was it him? It seemed to last an age until the figure of the huge Uruk-hai finally stepped out of the thicket, slowly and clumsily. Yellow-green eyes focused on the hobbit with an undefinable expression. Shagrat? Frodo's mouth formed the name, but no sound escaped from his lips. Very slowly the hobbit began to back away from the snarling giant, who obviously did not recognize him.

Frodo's thoughts were following in quick succession. What was he supposed to do? It was too late to flee, for he had discerned a dagger in Shagrat's paw, covered with dried blood. Even if the hobbit started to run at once, he would barely have a chance to escape a well-aimed throw. The Uruk hissed, coming closer step by step. "Shagrat, it's me... don't you recognize me at all?" Frodo's voice sounded thin and helpless. Then suddenly he became aware of something he had not noticed in his first state of shock. The giant's body was covered with countless gaping wounds, and many of them were still bleeding. The hobbit stared at Shagrat in dismay. "What has happened, please, do say something!" Instead of an answer the Uruk slowly collapsed, sagged to his knees. Weakened, he finally fell to the ground, where he remained lying, panting heavily.

Suddenly disregarding any possible peril, Frodo ran to him to cower beside the giant. The Uruk did not move, his eyes still did not show any recognition. Trembling, the hobbit touched the monster's shoulder. Shagrat's breath turned into rattling, and Frodo whispered in panic: "Do keep calm, Shagrat, I'm going to get help quickly. Please, don't be frightened, just stay here. I'll be back soon." He urgently hoped that the Uruk had understood him, and he rushed off, as if a Balrog was after him.

Sam and Rosie were busy preparing a meal in the kitchen when Frodo burst in breathlessly. "Rosie, I need to talk to Sam - alone!" A thought about his appearance not being very polite flashed through his mind, but Rosie only nodded wordlessly and quickly left the kitchen. Sam's eyes widened. "Mr. Frodo, what happened?" "Quick, Sam! He has come, and he's seriously wounded. We must help him!" Frodo hectically began to search drawers and cupboards for useful items. Sam only managed to stammer in confusion: "What... who... Mr. Frodo, who has come?" "Shagrat, it's Shagrat, quick!"

Frodo went on hurrying aimlessly through the kitchen, and so he did not notice how Sam stiffened and his face abruptly turned pale. "But... but Frodo, now wait a second, what are you up to?!" Frodo's voice almost cracked while searching. "I have no idea, but hurry up! First we must get him here and then..." "You're crazy, Frodo!" Sam called out in utmost panic, and at the same moment he saw Frodo hesitate in his movement and his shoulders get cramped. When he finally turned to Sam, his face had turned pale. "Of course, Sam," he uttered, "everyone in the Shire knows that, don't they?"

Sam went red, ashamedly stammering: "Frodo... I... I'm sorry..." His eyes filled with tears, but Frodo had already hurried to clutch him. "No, Sam, it's me who is sorry, for I had forgotten that even the mention of his name must be most frightening for you." He gazed at his friend, begging for understanding. "Sam, I simply must do that, I just can't help it. I cannot let him down now. Do you understand this?" Sam swallowed, but then nodded with a sniff, wiping his eyes. Frodo took Sam's face in his hands. "You needn't come with me, Sam, I cannot ask that of you. Just show me..." But Sam resolutely interrupted him: "That's out of the question, Mr. Frodo! You're not going back without me! Just let me pack up some things, and then we can leave." Frodo gratefully nodded, and Sam quickly fetched some herbs and ointments, further some cloths to dress the wounds. When the two hastened down the corridor, they passed Rosie, who could read in Sam's eyes that there was no time left for explanations. However, when the door had shut behind them, Rosie sighed to herself: "I hope they haven't just set out for a long uncertain journey once more." She bit her lip restlessly.

*********** 

Breathlessly panting, the hobbits reached the clearing. The Uruk was still lying where Frodo had left him. He did not seem to have moved, only his breath sounded rattling and tormented. Frodo kneeled down beside him again, cautiously touching his arm, while Sam kept a respectful distance. "Can you hear me, Shagrat?" Frodo tried to get through to the giant. "Come, Sam, quick... just do something...," he pleaded, but Sam did not stir. When Frodo turned around, seeking help, he suddenly realized with a shocking certainty the truth that he saw in his friend's eyes, even before Sam spoke. "He is dying, Mr. Frodo... we can't do anything for him, it's too late..." Frodo stared at him like paralyzed for a moment, but Sam only sadly shook his head.

Frodo turned to Shagrat again, desperately fighting back the dizzy spell and the tears that were about to overwhelm him. He gently took the Uruk's big paw and downheartedly looked at his face. At this moment Shagrat exhaustedly opened his eyes. "Are you sad again, little worm?" he asked with a cracked voice, as it was difficult for him to speak. Frodo tried to manage a brave smile, but it was not much of a success. "No, Shagrat, I'm really glad you're here." The Uruk pressed Frodo's hand and went on, quietly growling: "I have come to tell you something, Frodo." He took a strained breath. "You needn't be frightened any more, and neither does your friend, for the orcs who served Shelob are gone. I have killed them all."

Frodo held his breath. "What happened? Did they attack you?" Shagrat breathed arduously: "I have lived in this small cave we found some time ago. There was no one who would have disturbed me. But one day these stupid orcs passed, the whole horde..." He paused, closing his eyes with weakness, and Frodo by his side was suffering from his own consuming helplessness. "Please, Shagrat, you needn't talk, if it's too exhausting for you." But the Uruk pressed his hand again and slowly continued: "They didn't see me. So I could listen to them unnoticed and learned that they were on their way to the Shire to catch some more halflings." Frodo felt a shiver running down his spine, and he quickly turned to Sam, who stepped closer cautiously. The giant was breathing heavily. "Shelob seemed to lie in a deep sleep, and they had no leader anyway. So they were roaming the woods, aimless and belligerent. And I heard that they were most of all angry with me not having shared my prey with them. That's why they finally wanted to find out what makes halfling flesh so exceptional." Frodo and Sam exchanged an appalled glance, while Shagrat struggled for breath again. 

He became aware of Frodo's tormented expression and went on, panting out: "No, little worm, don't worry. I came out of my hideout to talk them out of this idea, if you know what I mean. I didn't want them to hurt you again and neither any of your friends. I caught them all, and my dagger is still covered with their dark blood. Do you want to see it?" Frodo hurried to say: "It's alright, Shagrat, I believe you." The Uruk quietly sighed: "They were many, and they were well armed. I almost thought I wouldn't manage to bring you these tidings any more..." His voice cracked with weakness.

Frodo tried to regain his composure, suppressing a tremble. "Do you feel any pain, Shagrat?" The Uruk tried to laugh, but the sound turned into a rattle, and he coughed blood. Then he said: "What a stupid question, little worm, for you know that the Uruk-hai don't feel any pain when wounded." Frodo sadly nodded. "Sorry, I forgot about that." Shagrat thoughtfully looked at the hobbit. "Still there's something strange, little worm. These other pains, which were torturing me so often... they are suddenly gone. Do you think that the illness has passed at last? Frodo bravely swallowed. "Yes, Shagrat, I am sure about that." The giant's voice got weaker. "That's good, little Frodo, for it's a beautiful feeling. It's so calm inside me, without any pain, but I don't know how they call this feeling." "They call it peace, Shagrat," Frodo softly replied. "Peace," the Uruk repeated in the same way, "that's a good feeling indeed, isn't it?" "Yes, Shagrat, it is." Frodo lovingly looked into the giant's eyes, and Shagrat met his gaze with a great calm. Then his eyes slowly closed, and he stopped breathing. "Farewell, my friend," the hobbit whispered, barely audible. For a moment it was so quiet at the clearing, as if even the birds and insects kept a respectful silence.

Frodo's tears fell on the dead giant's chest, right where his heart had been beating only a moment before - this tormented heart, which finally had found its peace. The hobbit was stunned and gave in to his grief for the death of a creature for whose soul he had struggled so desperately and in vain. Pain spread inside him, but he did not resist it and forgot everything around him. He was sitting there like petrified for a long time. Sam, who was standing close behind him, hardly dared to breathe, as if fearing his master would break into shards at the slightest sound.

Frodo did not manage to take his gaze off Shagrat, whose face looked deeply peaceful now. At one point though he felt Sam's comforting hand touch his shoulder, and he whispered in agony: "I could not save him, Sam, I have failed once more." He sadly let his head sink, but then - as if through a mist - Sam's gentle voice reached his ears: "But that's not true, Frodo. He has come here - to you. He has protected you and fought for us, and he wanted to see you again before he would die. You were his only friend. Oh yes, you have saved him anyway." Frodo needed a moment to understand these words, but then he slowly turned his face to Sam, smiling in tears. "Sam, my wonderful Sam, what would I be doing without you?" They silently embraced, and Sam held his master in his arms to comfort him, and he patiently waited for Frodo's tears to dry up.

When Frodo looked into his eyes at last, quiet and peace were reflected in his face. "We should bury him, Sam," he said composedly. Sam seriously nodded. "You're right, Mr. Frodo. Just let me go and fetch what we need, and I'll be back very soon." Frodo gratefully agreed, and Sam was about to jump up, but Frodo held him back. "Sam, there's something I'd like to ask of you." "Yes, Mr. Frodo?" "Please, never mention this to anyone. Not that it would be bad, it's just - I don't think anybody would understand." Sam reassuringly pressed his hand. "Don't worry, I won't lose a single word about it."

Just at this moment a rustling behind them made them start, and they turned around in shock. Merry and Pippin were standing there: both silent and with a grave expression, each of them with two shovels in their hands. Sam almost wanted to look at them reproachfully, for they evidently had been eaves-dropping somewhere once more, but he decided differently when he noticed their solemn faces. Merry wordlessly nodded, and Frodo's gaze told them that they were welcome. The hobbits laid down the shovels and cautiously came closer. For a while they were standing all together, silently looking at the dead Uruk. Then Merry determinedly said: "We should set to work now, for even if there are four of us, it'll take some time." Frodo nodded without a word, and each of them took a shovel. They were busy until dusk and finally thoughtfully looked at their finished work for a while.

Suddenly Sam hesitatingly said: "Mr. Frodo, something has occurred to me..." Frodo expectantly gazed at him and noticed Sam blushing, as he usually did when he was afraid of saying something stupid. "What is it, Sam?" he asked invitingly. Sam cleared his throat in embarrassment. "Well, I mean… maybe you are still full of doubt… but I was thinking of planting a tree right here. In case it blossomed next year, you would know for sure. And if not... oh no, it's a stupid idea." He broke off, shaking his head, but Frodo lovingly put his arm around his friend's shoulder. "Sam, that's a wonderful idea. Indeed, you should do that. It would be beautiful."

Dusk saw the four hobbits peacefully walk back to Bag End, side by side. Merry had put his arm around Frodo's shoulder, and Sam and Pippin carried the shovels. Frodo felt warmth flow through his heart. He was filled with gratitude for the silent presence of his friends, who managed to comfort him without words, just being there for him without asking questions.

The next day Frodo got up earlier than usual, for he wanted to return to the clearing to plant the seedling together with Sam. However, at breakfast he noticed how Sam shifted from side to side on his seat, embarrassed. "What is it now, Sam, out with it!" Sam uncertainly gazed at Frodo. "I've got another idea, and I hope you won't take it amiss..." "Have I ever done so? Come on, tell me about it!" Sam swallowed. "Well, I think maybe this should be my part in this whole matter, for after all I had a pretty close acquaintance with Shagrat myself... if you know what I mean. Well, and I thought maybe I should plant this tree alone and... and this could be my chance to tell this Shagrat that I'm grateful to him for having brought you back healthily and that I have forgiven him anyway in the meantime. I hope you don't feel hurt now..." Frodo smiled and shook his head. "Have you ever hurt me, Sam?" Sam blushed. "Well, just yesterday..." "Come on, Sam!" Frodo pressed his hand, looking at him almost tenderly. "Sam, I understand your desire, and I respect your wish. It shall happen as you wish." Sam lowered his gaze in embarrassment, but suddenly was in a hurry to leave. He probably wanted to get over with it sooner rather than later. Frodo gazed after him, lost in thought.

*********** 

Soon after Sam had left, Rosie entered the kitchen with a radiant smile. "There's a visitor, Mr. Frodo, who you might be happy to see." Frodo rose expectantly, and his heart jumped with joy, when he discerned the wizard's pointy hat appear in the doorframe. "Gandalf, what a pleasure to see you!" he joyfully exclaimed, flinging himself into the wizard's arms. Gandalf laughed good-naturedly: "You will probably always do this - no matter how old you are - my dear boy." He friendly tousled the hobbit's hair. Frodo smiled broadly and immediately reached for the teapot. "First a cup of tea, and then tell me about the news in the world!" The wizard raised his hand in a calming gesture. "Not this quick, my dear hobbit! First tell me how you are doing, for you had been through so much when we met the last time."

Frodo quickly repressed a thought of Shagrat and said: "I'm doing fine. Everything is peaceful here, but you already might know that yourself. Actually there's nothing special to report. I'm busy writing the chronicles and have made good progress. You know how things go in the Shire, and nothing has changed so far. But now it's your turn. Don't keep me on tenterhooks any longer, for I suppose the stories you brought are more interesting than mine." Gandalf heartily laughed about the hobbit's impatience, but he did not want to keep him waiting any longer. Frodo had always been like this: very excitable about stories from distant realms. Some things never change, the wizard thought, and so he gave him a detailed report of the latest events from Gondor, Rohan and Rivendell. Spellbound, Frodo listened to him and soon forgot about everything else.

Later they were sitting on the bench in front of the house, enjoying the mild sun of forenoon. The wizard smoked his pipe, and Frodo read out the latest chapters of the Red Book to him, which he had written down after his return from Rivendell. From time to time the wizard nodded in appreciation, not without reading the hobbit's face unnoticed. When Frodo had ended, Gandalf knocked out his pipe, and then, quite casually, he remarked: "And now, my dear hobbit, tell me how you're really doing. Are you happy, Frodo?" "Well, I think so. I've been ill less recently, and also the nightmares don't come that often any more. Yes, I think I'm happy again now. I have my friends around me, and this is truly wonderful. I cannot change the fact that most hobbits consider me to be a bit weird, but then I don't care about it any more. Yes, I think I am happy. Indeed, Gandalf, you needn't worry."

The wizard smiled considerately. "This I know, my dear Frodo, for the years have let you mature, and you're strong enough now to take responsibility for yourself. I also think you needn't worry any more..." Frodo gave him a questioning gaze. Gandalf went on: "I have the distinct feeling that the tree, which Sam is planting right now, will blossom richly next spring." Frodo stared at the ground. "I understand," he said quietly. The wizard pressed his hand and went on: "Actually, I've already been on my way to Hobbiton yesterday evening, passing the small clearing behind the next hill, which you have loved since you were a child..." Frodo said nothing, for he felt a bit ashamed, since he had not found the courage to tell Gandalf about it earlier.

The wizard felt his embarrassment and laid his arm around Frodo's shoulder in a friendly manner. "Frodo, you have done right to offer such treasures to this unhappy being. You gave him your friendship and kindness, and you always listened to your heart. No myth and no legend have ever told of such a deed. I would like to hear about this incident one day, when you read it out from your chronicles." The hobbit doubtfully gazed at Gandalf, but the wizard continued: "Well, I know that it's not part of your nature to give yourself to triumphant emotions, and this modesty says a lot for you. Still what you have done is and always will be a miracle, and therefore it should be mentioned in the annals of Middle-earth in any case. For you know, Frodo, that miracles give hope, and hope is one of the most wonderful gifts that we might be given."

Frodo thoughtfully nodded. "You are right, Gandalf, as always. I think I should do what you suggest, for it might be a way to leave the pain behind, which surely will accompany me for a long time, for I have lost a friend." Suddenly the wizard seriously looked into his eyes. "Does Sam know that you're still given the grace to go to the West?" The hobbit shook his head. "No, Gandalf, I haven't told him. For you know, he would be torn between his wish to know me in the Undying Lands without pain and torment and his grief to lose me again. I cannot do this to him once more, at least not yet." The wizard nodded understandingly.

"And you know, Gandalf, my love for the Shire is much deeper than I have realized ever before. I would like to enjoy all this a little longer, so I decided rather to endure my pain for some more time. Maybe it will become more bearable one day.  
I don't know how much time is given to me yet, for I'm too deeply wounded. I don't think there are too many years left to me, and one day the time of parting will come for Sam, but not yet, Gandalf. It's much too early, and from my experience with Shagrat I learned how many valuable friends there are, whom I would still like to have around me for the next time. Do you understand this?"

Gandalf kindly smiled. "There's nothing I cannot understand regarding this matter, my dear hobbit. You have made the right decision, this I can say in many different respects. Especially concerning your friends, I mean that your sworn fellowship of four hobbits works in a way that no one of you can grow and blossom without the others, like in a lovingly well-tended garden." Frodo smiled and nodded. Then Gandalf cheekily creased his brow. "You know, Frodo, there is surely one thing you wouldn't want to miss: the four of you have been through so many wonderful and terrible adventures that it might definitely be possible even for a Peregrin Took to be grown-up one day."

Frodo mischievously looked at the wizard. "Are you serious?" - he feigned a shudder - "What a terrible thought!" They burst into a gale of laughter, and Gandalf embraced the hobbit lovingly. Frodo beamed at him. "Another cup of tea, Gandalf?" "I'd love to, my dear boy."

**The End**


	5. To my reviewers

To my reviewers 

I wish I could thank each one of my wonderful reviewers personally for all the kind words and encouragement, but since there were so many anonymously added reviews I take this possibility to thank you all so very much from the bottom of my heart. You have illuminated my stony path as a rather inexperienced writer and I hope that maybe you will also kindle my creativity for other stories to come.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!


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